Once Upon a December
by i.took.to.the.sky
Summary: Castiel is having a rough end of the year. His boyfriend has dumped him, his parents aren't letting him speak to his younger siblings and he just embarrassed himself in front of this green-eyed hottie and his little brother... Destiel fic. Dean/Castiel
1. Elvis:Heartbreak Hotel

The moon was smiling at him and he laughed back at it because it seemed so happy. At least one of them was happy, the laugh fell flat and sad in his throat, more like a half strained gurgle really, not a laugh. He sighed, he should go inside, take some Advil, go to bed, but the thought of his lonely, empty apartment made him want to cry all over again. No, no more crying, he took another fortifying sip of wine, the alcoholic warmth chasing away the winter's chill that fought its way under his coat. The bottle clinked next to the empty one at his side as he set it down.

He glanced down at his phone, at the text messages still open on the screen. The green and blue bubbles far too cheerful for the conversation they recorded. Snippets of hurtful paragraphs floated back through his brain.

" _I'm leaving because I can't stand your whining for another second."_

" _I just needed somewhere to put my dick for a few months."_

" _Love you, please Castiel I don't even really like you."_

And now he was crying again, he couldn't help it, he felt like such an idiot.

"Hey?" the voice was deep and rough, it drew Castiel out of his thoughts and made him sit up so fast his head was still tilted back when he got to the upright position. He forced it to go the right way on his neck so he could look at the speaker. Way up at the speaker. Damn, this guy was like forty feet tall.

"Are you okay?" the guy asked. He had a golden retriever on a leash, sitting patiently next to his side. It took him a second to realize he'd seen him before, or wait not him he'd seen his dog, being walked around by a hot guy in a leather jacket.

"Buddy? You okay?" the guy asked again. Castiel shook his head. The hottie must be this guy's boyfriend, wasn't that always the way? All the gorgeous ones were taken.

"Do you need some help?" the guy crouched down next to him, concern in his hazel eyes. Say something! Castiel's brain screamed at him, he's going to think you're nuts and call the cops!

"I'm fine, thank you." he tried to say, but what came out was. "M-fine."

"Are you sure?" the guys dog was sniffing at Castiel's shoe, he went to pat its head and tipped over a little too far, almost falling off the bench. A strong arm around his waist stopped him at the last second.

"Woah," Castiel was forcibly settled back in his seat, and now he really did laugh, because this was embarrassing enough to be a funny story someday and he hadn't laughed in so long. It felt good. The darkness was starting to eat in at the edges of his vision. He really should go home, he stumbled to his feet, or tried to, mostly he just stood up and pitched forwards. His face fell against a wall of plaid and then …..

….

He woke up in pain. So, much pain.

Oh, God why?

He was also sticky? Why was he sticky? Finding out was going to require opening his eyes, but his head wouldn't stop pounding and...

"Hey!" A hand was roughly shaking his shoulder. "Come on kid, wake up." He was on the couch; the ribbed pattern had stenciled itself to the back of his arm. Castiel's nose crinkled, something smelled terrible.

"Hey," He rolled over, the gruff voice belonged to a torso covered in engine grease. Castiel looked up and was somewhat surprised, to say the least, to be looking into the dog-walker's-boyfriend's green eyes. What was he doing in Castiel's apartment? Not that Castiel was complaining, but it was strange.

"Who are you?" Ol' Green Eye's frowned at him, "what are you doing on my couch?" His couch? Castiel was confused for a millisecond, then it all came rushing back.

Shit.

"Dean!" the dog walker appeared in the doorway looking guilty, "you're home early."

"Why is there a puke-covered kid on my couch Sammy?" Castiel made himself sit up, despite the fact that this made the room spin, his stomach flip-flopped feebly. Its contents already scattered in a chunky puddle across the couches surface. Castiel's hand went to the mysterious sticky patch on his cheek, it came away smeared with crumbly half-dried vomit. Well that explained the smell.

"He fainted on me in the park," Sammy said, "I couldn't just leave him, it's like four degrees outside."

"So you brought him here? What was wrong with the hospital?"

"He's underage and he looked like he was having a hard enough night without dealing with all that."

Castiel didn't want to cause any more trouble for Sammy, who had dragged his unconscious bulk who knew how far after he passed out last night…against Sammy's chest. Oh, Castiel wanted to die. He could feel his cheeks start to burn.

The other two men were arguing now, back and forth like a tennis match. He should go, right now, before he exploded from embarrassment.

He swung his legs to the floor and tried to stand, but ended up crashing to his knees, letting out a startled cry.

"What? Kid?...Dammit." strong arms lifted him off the floor and then he was floating down the hall, his face cushioned against a broad shoulder. They entered a bathroom and Castiel was placed on the edge of the bathtub. It was too bright to look up, but next thing he knew a cup was being forced into his sweaty hands.

"Drink that," Dean's voice ordered. Castiel obeyed without thought. The water tipping down his throat helped him feel ever so slightly human again.

Sammy had followed them into the bathroom, he and Dean started arguing again. Blah, blah blah "too nice for your own good." Yadda, yadda, yadda, "You've done worse things to the couch."

"I'm sorry about the couch," Castiel tried to say, it came out in a breathy squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"I'm sorry about the couch." The other two men stopped their bickering to look at him. "I'll pay to have it dry cleaned."

"Damn right you will," Dean grumped, crossing his arms. Sammy knelt down next to him, now that Castiel got a closer look at him he realized he was close to his own age, about 18 or so. He seemed pretty young to be in a relationship with Dean, who had to be at least 31, 32? But, to each their own and who was he to judge, really?

"What's your name?" Sammy asked. Castiel shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Castiel," he told the tall man, rolling his water cup nervously between his hands.

"Why were you shit faced in the park Cassie?" Dean asked, glaring at him and Castiel glared right back, because yeah, he may have puked all over this man's living room, but only one person got to call him Cassie.

"It's Castiel," he informed him, "And it's none of your business." Dean glowered down at him.

"Watch the attitude kid," he growled, really, growled. "You made it my business when you pulled an Exorcist on my brother." Brother? Sammy didn't look like his brother, for one thing he was enormous and for another Dean was just so much…prettier.

"You two aren't going out?" he asked, and then wished he had a video camera so he could record the look on their faces. Dean absolute revulsion, Sammy confused mirth.

"No," Sammy laughed, thumping his brother on the shoulder, "I'm Sam, this is my _**brother**_ Dean."

"Oh," Castiel hung his head again unsure why he was blushing. Dean's scowl deepened.

"Listen kid, do you live around here? Do we need to call your parents? I'm sure their worried about you."

Castiel shook his head, "I don't live with my parents." He put his hand against the wall and using it to support himself managed to stand up. His legs were still shaky but he could probably get out of here without Dean having to carry him again. "I should go."

"Let me help you get home." Sam offered. Castiel shook his head.

"Oh, no you've done too much for me already – ." he started to say, but was cut off by Sam's phone ringing.

"Hold that thought," the other boy said, holding up a finger. He pushed talk, pressing the phone to his ear. "Hey Jess," he gushed, his whole face lighting up. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Really!" Sam sounded super excited, "Oh my God, Jess you are the best! Yeah, yeah I'll be right there!" He hung up and beamed at his brother.

"She found the book?" Dean guessed.

"Yes!" Sam all but shouted, "She said it was hiding in a trunk in the attic, the professor is going to let me help translate!" Dean's face softened and he smiled indulgently.

"Go on, I'll make sure Slimer here gets home."

"Thanks Dean," Sam raced from the room, calling back over his shoulder, "Feel better Castiel!" The front door slammed and he was gone. Dean's scowl returned with a vengeance.

"I can really get home by myself." Castiel told him, but Dean shook his head and in one smooth motion had slung one of Castiel's arms around his shoulder and was helping him stagger down the hall. The smell of cold metal and bar soap pressed into Castiel's nose. The dog from last night watched them from its bed in the kitchen, thumping its tail once as they walked by.

"Sammy will kill me if he finds out I left you alone. Now where do you live?"

Castiel sighed, giving up protesting, "The Avalon Apartments. Apartment 6H."

Dean huffed a laugh, "Well looks like you're in luck kid. We're practically neighbors." They had made it out his front door and into the hallway at this point and Castiel saw he was right, this was a floor in his building alright. The fourth floor, if the signs on the doors were to be believed. Dean dragged him to the elevator. Once on six Castiel tried to insist that he could make it on his own from here but Dean would have none of it.

"You're a stubborn little guy aren't you?" he asked, stopping in front of Castiel's door.

"I'm not little, I'm 19." Castiel told him, fishing his keys out, which were thankfully still in his pocket.

Dean snorted, "Whatever, you say kid." The door swung open and the older man let out a curse. "You got robbed!"

Castiel laughed humorously, "No, my boyfriend just moved out, that's all." Dean helped him to the one remaining chair and sat him in it, frowning, "And took all of your stuff with him?" he asked. Castiel hung his head. He wanted to go back to sleep, maybe this time when he woke up it really would have all been a dream.

"Hey, fuck… kid… are you crying?" Dean's concerned face looked just like his brothers. Castiel raised a hand to his wet cheeks, trying to scrub away the tears with the edge of his sleeve.

"Sorry," he sobbed, "I'm fine. You can go now." Dean let out another curse and went to the fridge, rummaging through it until he found what he was looking for. He came back, pressing the bottle of Gatorade into Castiel's hands.

"You're dehydrated enough as it is," he explained when Castiel blinked tearfully up at him. He ran his hand through his hair, scuffing his foot awkwardly along the linoleum. Castiel tried to ebb the river pouring from his eyes but it was no use. His shoulders shook, his nose ran like a faucet, his head pounded and he wanted nothing more than to sink to the dirty floor, curl up into a little ball and weep, like the giant baby he was. If only Dean would leave, he'd be free to do just that, but apparently Dean had something against leaving crying boys alone in empty apartments. He just kept standing there, staring, with his stupidly gorgeous, green eyes all wide and pitying. Which of course made Castiel cry even harder.

"Fuck," Dean mumbled finally, crouching down next to him, "Come on kid, don't cry. It can't be that bad."

"I assure you it is that bad," Castiel sobbed, "But you can go. Don't let me stop you."

"I'm not leaving you alone like this." That made the tears slow down, if only a little bit, more out of surprise than anything. Castiel sniffed and twisted the cap on his Gatorade bottle.

"I came home and Fergus had left," Castiel heard himself saying, after a long minute. "No warning, no I-think-we-should-break-up talk, nothing. The apartment was empty and he was gone. I called, I got a text back saying that it was time for us to go our separate ways. I asked why, I thought we had been fine and- ." he choked on the next sentence, fumbling in his pocket for his phone, pulling up the text conversation. "Here, you can read it," If he tried to say the words that had been thrown at him out loud he was going to start sobbing again. Dean slowly scanned the conversation, his brow growing a deeper and deeper furrow the further down he scrolled.

"Jesus," he said, looking up once he'd reached the end, "What an ass." Castiel hiccupped a laugh.

"Yeah, but it was charming at first, you know. Like that this cool, older guy wanted anything to do with me?"

Dean's brow crinkled even further and he shook his head.

"No," he said, "I don't know."

Castiel frowned at him, unsure how to make him understand, "Well it was," he said lamely.

There was a long silence. Finally, Dean let out a sigh and stood up. Good, he was leaving, Castiel could go hide under his covers and never come out again.

"You're not going to off yourself if I leave you alone are you?" Dean asked, starting for the door. Castiel shook his head, not looking up.

"Good." The door opened and closed. When he looked up Dean had gone. Castiel managed to slide from his chair and crawl into the bedroom, where thankfully his four-poster still stood, mismatched patchwork quilt still balled up at the end of it. He discarded his vomit splattered clothes and crawled between the sheets in his underwear.

Life as a hermit, he'd read, was very spiritually fulfilling.


	2. Harry Chapin:Cats in the Cradle

Castiel had barely put his head down it seemed before the door to his bedroom was slammed open and Dean strode back in, carrying a greasy sack. He sat up, confused.

"Hello?" he asked, letting the, what are you doing here, remain implied. Dean dropped the bag onto his lap, the smell of French fries hit him in the face.

"Hangover cure," Dean said, pulling a burger out of the bag and unwrapping it, plopping himself down on Castiel's bed. He took a bite, eyelids fluttering with ecstasy. Castiel just looked at him, as a dollop of mustard was smeared across his chin.

"Eat," Dean said, noticing him staring, "You'll feel better, trust me."

And he did. Castiel wasn't normally one for fast food, but this was possibly the best thing that he had ever tasted. Of course he didn't normally drink himself into a vomitus mass either, so that might have something to do with it. He didn't normally drink at all really. Seems his father was right, he was on a downwards spiral of destructive behavior.

"Thank you," he said, once he'd crammed the last of the fries down his throat. Dean frowned at him again. This man's entire repertoire of facial expressions seemed to consist of frowns.

"Look kid," he began

"Castiel," Castiel reminded him. Dean sighed.

"Castiel," he started over, "Okay. I'm not very good with all this…feelings crap, but if you want to talk about it I'd rather do that than have your stomach soup all over my living room again."

Castiel winced, so that was what he was doing back here. He probably wanted a check or something, to give to the dry cleaners.

"I'm sorry if I wrecked your couch," he said, "I'll go get my wallet -" He made as if to get out of bed but Dean stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"What are you talking about? Forget the couch, kid." Castiel settled back against his pillows completely confused. Dean looked stern, his eyes trying to burn a hole through Castiel's retinas, his grip on his shoulder tightened.

"If you don't want to talk that's fine, because I'd probably screw it up anyways, but you've got to promise me you aren't going to go get hammered in the park again. I'm all for the healing powers of a drink or seven but, next time it might not be Sammy that finds you and takes you home. You understand?"

Castiel nodded and Dean nodded back at him.

"Okay then, I'll, let you get some sleep." He shoved the burger wrappers into the bag, swept the crumbs off the bed and stared for the door.

"I don't usually drink," Castiel heard himself saying. Dean stopped, turned around, perched back on the bed edge.

"So what made last night different?" he asked.

"It was," Castiel clasped his arms around his knees, like an anchor. "It was everything. Everything seemed to be falling apart and I didn't want to think for a while, you know. I didn't want to over analyze, or try to understand why things had happened. I just wanted to…be happy for a minute."

"You really loved this Fergus guy huh?"

Castiel paused, had he?

"I think it's more that, I thought he loved me." He tried to explain, "And then when it turned out he didn't. It was a low blow. I've had too many of those lately and I don't know, I … went off on a bender."

"A bender?" Dean asked, cracking half a smile, though Castiel didn't see how anything in this situation was funny.

"Are you laughing at me?" he asked hotly. Dean's smile melted.

"No, I'm-I understand, I've been there. The world has done its fair share of shitting on me. Ask Sam, things didn't used to be so peachy for us."

"They didn't?" Castiel couldn't picture a down-on-his-luck Dean, a happy-go-lucky-less Sam. They seemed like the kind of people that always rose above.

"Nah, but we made it through." He smiled softly, squeezing Castiel's knee through the blankets, "I'd tell you everything always works out in the end, but that's a load of bull. I think we just got lucky to be honest."

Castiel sighed, "You were right, you're not very good at this pep talk thing." Dean chuckled, slapping him on the shoulder.

"I tried to warn you; next time talk to Sammy. He's such a giant girl he'll probably start crying and braiding your hair afterwards." Castiel shuddered at the thought.

"That sounds disturbing."

"Actually it's kind of therapeutic, we do it every Friday. Really establish a manly bond." Castiel giggled, was it called giggling when a man did it? Tittered? Gave a little laugh? Oh, who cared, he could call it giggling if he wanted to.

Dean stood up, "I gotta get to my second job, you gonna be okay?" Castiel nodded and Dean smiled at him.

"Alright. See you Cas."

Castiel stayed awake for a long while after that, rolling their conversation around in his brain. Cas…he liked that.

….

The next day Castiel stood in the middle of his mostly empty apartment and took mental inventory. It seemed that Fergus had taken everything that was his as well as everything of Castiel's that he had wanted. Castiel no longer had a toaster, a microwave, or his Plasma screen TV that he wasn't entirely done paying off.

Also, his trench coat was missing. Now that was just cruel, Fergus knew how much he loved that stupid coat.

He let out a long sigh. The easiest thing would probably be to give everything up for lost, just finish paying off the TV and go buy a new microwave, but…the trench coat.

Anna and Gabe had given him that coat. Paid for it with their own allowance money so he would have something warm to wear over his suit going to concerts. Their chubby little faces had practically glowed when they saw him in it for the first time.

Castiel let out another sigh, pulling out his phone. Fergus' number still had a kissey mark next to it, before dialing he changed it to an emoticon of the devil.

"Castiel," Fergus picked up on the first ring, "Surprised to be hearing from you. Were you hoping I would want you back? Because I must say love, it's very unbecoming for a man to beg the way you did. Please don't leave me and all of that. I honestly couldn't find you less appealing right now."

"Do you have my coat?" Castiel managed to ask in a semi-steady voice.

"That mangy, old thing?" Fergus laughed. "It may have slipped its way into my possessions. Perhaps it was trying to escape your clinginess? Maybe you should give it some space? Take some time apart to get to know yourselves as individuals."

"Fergus you know what that coat means to me." Castiel fought the hammering of his heart. He wasn't going to back down; he wasn't going to be a doormat this time.

"You're not going to start crying again are you? Girls are never attractive when they cry no matter what Cosmo tells you Castiel."

"Please," Castiel tried switching to reasoning, "you can even mail it to me, just give it back."

"How generous," Fergus sounded like he'd just won a game of poker, "but I have no idea where it might have wound up and I can't be bothered to go through everything right now. Moving is hell on the shoulders you know, I must go get a massage or I'll be standing crooked all week. Ta." And then before Castiel could say anything more he hung up.

Castiel had to sit down, he sunk into his lone chair and took a deep breath, hiding his face in his hands.

"Yeah, you really took charge of that situation," he mumbled to himself, "You sure told him."

He needed some air.

Shaking, he locked his apartment door and started for the elevator. Maybe he could just show up at Fergus' door, barge in, grab the coat and leave. No, that wouldn't work, he didn't know where Fergus was staying.

"Cas?"

Castiel jumped, the elevator had arrived and he hadn't even noticed. Dean was in the car, along with Sam, he stepped inside and gave an awkward wave.

"Hello Dean…Sam." He pressed the down button.

"We were just on our way to check on you." Sam explained, "I was worried even though Dean said you were fine when he left yesterday." Castiel glanced over at Dean, palms going sweaty. What exactly had he told his brother? All about how he'd bawled like a four-year-old? The older man had his hands buried deep in his pockets, face betraying nothing.

"You look better," he was all he said.

"I am." Castiel said. Adding, "Thanks." as an afterthought.

What did it matter what Dean had or hadn't said, he reasoned? Sam had already seen him in just about every single embarrassing position there was to be seen in anyways. Unconscious, drunk, projectile vomiting…

"Were you going out?" Sam asked after a moment of silence.

"Do either of you know anything about getting things back from exes?" Castiel found himself asking.

"Your ex took your stuff?" Sam asked horrified at the same time Dean said, "Yes."

"Most of it." Castiel answered Sam.

Sam's eyes grew huge. He reminded Castiel of a puppy in one of those commercials about the pound. The ones that made him want to immediately go to the nearest shelter and adopt every animal in it.

"Do you know where he lives now?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head. Dean held out a hand, "Give me your phone for a second." Castiel unlocked it and handed it over, watching mystified as Dean started doing…whatever?

"I wouldn't bother," he babbled, "but he took this coat that my little sister and brother gave me." The elevator dinged as it stopped in the lobby of their building. The doors slid open.

Dean handed his phone back. "Let's go," he said to his brother.

"But Dean-." Sam protested.

"Now. Sam." Sam sulked after him.

"Bye," he called to Castiel.

"Um…Goodbye?" Castiel started to wave, but they were already gone.

…...

An hour or so later Castiel's phone rang.

He was sitting outside Starbucks having needed caffeine in order to mentally process the elevator scene, but it was proving more confounding than even a Grande quad shot Americano with three inches of cream could decipher. Man expresses interest in your well-being, asks to see your phone, does something and then leaves without so much as a, "have a nice day."

What the actual fuck?

"Hello?" Castiel said to whoever was calling him. The caller ID said unknown.

"Castiel Novak?"

"This is he."

"This is Meg from Lambs Elementary School," the woman on the other end said, "I'm calling because you are listed as a back-up emergency contact for your brother Gabriel."

All the breath whooshed out of Castiel's lungs, cold sweat broke out across his forehead. "What happened?!" he managed, his voice gone squeaky, "is Gabe okay?!"

"He fell off the monkey bars at recess and cracked his chin open. He was taken to the emergency room and I've been trying to get in touch with your parents, but neither of them are picking up their phones." Castiel gritted his teeth, of course they weren't. Mother was at bible study, where cell use wasn't allowed, lest it distract them from the Lord's truths and Father would be in a meeting until Armageddon.

"Gabriel is ready to be discharged, but he needs a family member to come take him home-" Meg continued.

"What hospital?" Castiel asked, before she had finished the final syllable.

"St. Michaels."

"I'm on my way." Castiel pushed end, and ran for his car. It was over six blocks away and by the time he got there he was out of breath and sweaty, but it didn't even register. He cut off people and ran a couple of red lights before screeching into the hospital parking lot.

"Gabe!" he cried, busting into his little brother's emergency half-room.

"Castiel!" a small pigtailed person plowed into his legs and clung to them.

"Cassie?" Gabriel asked, weakly from his cot.

"You must be their older brother," the nurse standing next to Gabe's bed said. She smiled as he detangled Anna from his legs and picked her up. She'd gained a few pounds since September, he let out a quiet grunt.

"Castiel Novak," he said, holding out his free hand, the one he wasn't using to hold up Anna. She shook it.

"Your brother was very brave," the nurse told him, "he didn't cry at all."

"I got to ride with Gabe in the ambulance," Anna shouted in Castiel's ear, "there was blood ev-ery-where."

"Was there?" Castiel asked his little sister.

"I just have a bit of paperwork for you to fill out," the nurse went on, "and then you can take Gabriel home." Castiel nodded, setting Anna on the floor. She grabbed his hand.

"I'll be right back Anna-banana," he assured her, "I'm just going to sign some stuff okay?" Anna frowned at him, but let go.

"Okay," she sounded dubious. Probably remembering how he'd promised he'd see her after school and then completely disappeared. They hadn't even let him leave a note.

Before walking to the nurse's station to begin his paperwork filling out, he gathered Gabe up in a hug.

"I missed you," his baby brother whispered.

"I missed you too." Castiel whispered back.

….

He took Gabe and Anna to Chik-fil-a, as a reward for Gabe not crying a single tear over his five stiches, and Anna not coloring on anything she wasn't supposed to while at the hospital.

"We're doing a Christmas play for school!" Anna told him excitedly on the drive there. "I get to be the front half of the camel!"

"The good half huh?" Castiel laughed, but inside his heart broke a little bit more. It didn't look like his parents were going to lift their no contact ban anytime soon, which meant he was going to miss Christmas.

Anna was six this year and Gabe was eight, but it seemed like only yesterday they were just tiny squirming babies. Castiel didn't want to miss a single moment of their growing up, especially not the photo opportunistic ones. Under the Christmas tree, surrounded by their presents. Anna with about seventeen wrapping paper bows in her hair.

"Cassie?" Gabe asked, breaking him out of his thoughts, "When are you coming home?"

Ouch. Right in the feels.

"I'm not Gabe," Castiel sighed, "Mother and Father asked me to move out."

"Because you kissed that boy?" Anna asked.

"Yes, because I kissed Fergus." Castiel grimaced at the memory. Father red faced and screaming rounding the corner where he and Fergus were locked in an embrace. Mother being told, her sinking onto the couch, pale as death, the conversation that followed.

"So?" Gabe was starting to pout, he kicked the back of the passenger seat angrily, "I don't see why that means you can't live with us."

Castiel sighed again, "I don't either Gabe, but it's how things are."

"But me and Anna miss you!" Gabe kicked the seat harder, "It's not fair!"

"My teacher says life isn't fair, but we should still count our blessings." Anna chirped. Castiel smiled.

"Your teacher is right," he beamed at his sister in the review mirror.

"It'd be a blessing if Mother and Father changed their minds," Gabe grumbled.

"I wouldn't hold your breath on that one Gabriel." Castiel told him. Gabe glared out the window.

"Will you come to my play Castiel?" Anna asked.

He said he'd try his hardest and by the time they'd eaten and he'd driven them back to the family manor Gabe was a little less pouty. However, that may have had something to do with the two ice cream sundaes with hot fudge and whipped cream that Castiel had let him eat.

"Mother and Father won't be home for hours," Gabe begged him, "Come inside for a little bit." Castiel agreed and both his siblings had grabbed his hands dragging him across the threshold.

The manor was already decorated for the holidays, even though December had barely begun. Evergreen wreaths on the front doors. Garlands and ribbons woven around the banisters. The air inside smelled like freshly baked gingerbread. The solid silver nativity scene was sitting, as always, on the piano. Castiel touched the metal manger.

"Hello little baby Jesus," he said. Anna giggled.

"Give him a gift," she prompted. Castiel fished around in his pocket and found nothing but a slightly bent stick of gum. Nonetheless he placed it before the manger with great ceremony.

"I bring to you the gift of this stick of evergreen mint," he said, "may it freshen your breath, or that of your father's. Who probably needs it, because they didn't have toothbrushes when you were born." Gabriel started laughing too.

"Castiel?" All three Novak children whirled around. Their mother was standing in the entrance to the sitting room, clutching her prayer journal and wearing a frown. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to pick up Gabe from the hospital," Castiel said coldly, "the school called, he cracked his chin open." Anna and Gabriel moved closer to him as he spoke. Anna grabbed his hand again.

"You cracked your chin open?!" their mother asked her younger son, "why didn't the school call me?"

"They tried like a million times, you wouldn't pick up." Gabe told her. Their mother pulled her phone out of the pocket of her yoga pants.

"Oh silly me, it's turned off." She laughed at herself, then turned back to her children. "Well, I'm glad you're alright Gabe. Thank you for picking him up Castiel, but I think you better leave before your father gets home. You know he doesn't want you around your siblings."

"But he isn't doing anything!" Gabe told her, "Why won't Father let him stay?"

"You are too young to understand Gabriel, but your father is doing what is best for you and Anna. Now say goodbye and go up to your rooms."

"No!" Anna screamed, wrapping her arms around Castiel's waist, "No! No! No! Noooooo!"

"Anna!" their mother scolded.

"Don't make him go away again Mother!" Gabe begged, "Please!"

"Don't go Castiel!" Anna howled. Castiel pried her arms off him and pulled her into a hug.

"Anna-banana," he soothed, "Shh. It's going to be okay."

"Don't leave!" his little sister sobbed.

"I've got to," he explained, "but it won't be forever I promise."

"Really?" Anna sniffed.

"Really," Castiel said, "I'll be back before you know it."

"Okay," Anna gave him a wet snotty kiss on the cheek and backed away. Gabe rushed forwards to fill her place.

"I'll call you when I can," he whispered, "Father is being stupid." Castiel squeezed him tight.

"Watch out for Anna, okay buddy?" he smiled, barely holding back tears of his own. "I love you."

"Love you too." Gabe gave him one last squeeze and then went to stand with Anna by the stairs. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Goodbye Mother," Castiel said at the door, "I love you. Tell Father I love him too."

"Oh Castiel," his mother sighed, "if you would just renounce your evil and go to that camp your father found you know he would forgive you. I know you're confused and set in your ways but is it worth creating this rift in our family?"

"I'm not confused Mother," Castiel told her, "and I'm certainly not going to a gay-sinners redemption camp. Goodbye Anna-banana, Bye Gabe. Talk soon. Love you guys." Then he got out of there before he could either start cursing or crying.

Crying won out and the drive home was a long water works filled affair. He'd completely forgotten about Dean and the elevator oddness from earlier until he unlocked his door and stopped in shock.

All of his things were back!

His toaster! His microwave! His plasma screen TV! His comfy reclining chair! And best of all there was a tan trench coat folded, somewhat sloppily at the end of his bed. He wandered around in a daze for a minute wondering how this could have happened until he noticed the note pinned to the fridge.

"I returned it all. Please accept my apologies. F. Crowley." It was messy, like he'd written it with both hands tied together, but it was defiantly Fergus' handwriting. What, Castiel wondered, could have caused him to have such a huge change of heart?


	3. Bon Jovi:Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Castiel tried to spend the rest of the night in glorious slothfulness. Lounging in his comfy recliner chair, watching "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix. Based on this show, he didn't think he'd survive very long in prison.

With everything that had happened this last week, practicing had been the last thing on Castiel's mind. Which was stupid, they had a concert coming up in ten days and rehearsal started back up again tomorrow. His piano kept looking at him forlornly from the other side of the room. Finally, he switched off the TV and padded over to his bench.

Fergus hadn't taken his piano when he left, Castiel didn't know if it was because he respected his music or because it was so heavy and it had taken them approximately eight years to get it through the door in the first place. He'd sent Fergus a text thanking him for the return of his belongings and asking what bought on his new giving nature, but so far there had been no reply.

"Hello Gloria," Castiel ran a hand over the instrument. He flipped the cover off the keys and lined up his fingers. "Are you ready to sing?" He played a scale, then another. Then he launched into "Flight of the Bumblebee," because it was Anna's favorite, then "The Vampire's Dance," because it was Gabe's.

So absorbed was he in his music that he didn't notice the time creeping by until someone banged on his door. He blinked rapidly, coming out of some sort of playing-induced fog. The someone banged again.

"Coming," Castiel called. He opened the door to find his neighbor, elderly Joshua standing there, glaring at him.

"Son, please." Joshua begged, "it's one in the morning."

Castiel looked at his watch in shock. "Oh," he felt his cheeks go red, "I'm so sorry Joshua. I didn't realize it was so late. I'll stop." Joshua yawned and shuffled back to his own apartment. Castiel shut his door and went to lean against the window. It was snowing, flakes drifting like pixie dust in the glow of the streetlights, he should probably go to bed, he grabbed his coat and scarf instead.

Outside the world had transformed, Castiel loved the first snow of winter. He loved any snow actually. Snow had the ability to make even the most miserable place look like a fairytale, but the first one was always the best. It carried the most magic.

His boots crunched a path of footprints down the sidewalk, he tilted up his face and let the flakes melt against his eyelashes.

"Thank you," he whispered to Heaven. He'd needed this, needed to be reminded that no matter how ugly the world got, there was beauty in it.

….

He was exhausted the next morning. Rehearsal started at eight, but he stayed in bed until 7:34. It usually took him twenty minutes to get to the hall, today he did it in thirteen, breaking several traffic laws in the process and he was still late.

"Castiel!" Naomi, his director scolded. "Just because we've had three days off does not give us an excuse to be lazy."

"Sorry Naomi," Castiel said, taking his place behind the Grand. "It won't happen again." Naomi didn't look convinced, but only nodded and went to yell at one of the flutists who had dared to get the top portion of her ear pierced.

"Hey Castiel," Balthazar of the horn section smiled at him. "What did you do this weekend?"

"Nothing as exciting as you I'm sure," Castiel smiled back. While most people in the Orchestra remained distant with him, either jealous over his youth and talent or just too wrapped up in themselves to say, good morning, to another human being, Balthazar was one of the few people Castiel counted as a friend.

"That's true," Balthazar laughed. "It was-."

"Are we being paid to jabber?!" Naomi shouted from the front. All the murmured conversations ceased. "We have a concert in nine days people! Let's try to act like professionals please!"

Balthazar rolled his eyes, "Tell you later." He whispered.

Rehearsal went badly. Naomi vented her rage with their incompetence by throwing her sheet music at an unfortunate cellist who asked to go to the bathroom. Castiel however, wasn't worried. They always had at least one terrible practice before a concert.

"I think she's getting worse," Balthazar said as they walked out of the hall together.

"Naomi was always an evil dictator," Castiel reminded him.

"But she's now moved on from verbal abuse to threats of physical violence. If she doesn't watch it she's going to get sued."

Castiel laughed, "So what did you do this weekend?" he asked. They'd reached Balthazar's car and he leaned against it as his friend spun a tale involving a bar waitress and a bachelorette party who'd rented an actual party bus.

"We somehow wound up at one of the girl's uncle's farm house out in the middle of nowhere, playing strip poker at three in the morning." Balthazar smiled, "I tell you Castiel you and Fergus have got to come out with me sometime, we'd have adventures that we'd still be talking about in our sixties."

The smile Castiel had been wearing drooped, "Fergus broke up with me," he said.

Balthazar looked horrified, "Oh Castiel, I'm so sorry." He raised his arms and walked forwards folding Castiel in an awkward embrace.

"This feels weird," he said, after a moment, "I don't think you and I are supposed to hug." Castiel laughed, pushing away.

"It was meant well," he smiled.

"So how are you holding up?" Balthazar asked, leaning against the car next to him.

"I've been better," Castiel said honestly, "I also had a run in with my mother yesterday, that didn't help." Balthazar winced, he knew all about Castiel's family issues. It had been one of the first things they bonded over, as Balthazar also wasn't exactly from the Brady Bunch.

"How is Mommy Dearest?"

"Well, she was so deep in prayer that she failed to notice the school calling eighty times to tell her Gabe had cracked his chin open at recess." Castiel crossed his arms as if that could help him hold in his anger. "Is it wrong to want to slap some sense into your own mother?"

"Since it's your mother I think God would understand," Balthazar patted his shoulder. "Is Gabe alright?"

"Yeah," Castiel's smile came creeping back, "tough little bugger didn't even cry."

"Not at all? Are you sure he's your brother?" Balthazar asked. Castiel laughed, elbowing him in the ribs. The wind picked up just then, sending both of their scarves fluttering sideways.

"You wanna do something tonight?" Balthazar asked suddenly. "Go see a movie? Or go out to dinner? We could go ice skating and win the couple's skate race."

"I'd like that," Castiel grinned, "but no couple's skating. Last time the theme to Titanic was stuck in my head for a week."

….

They agreed to meet at a nearby theater at seven for a special holiday showing of "Miracle on 34th Street." It was Castiel's favorite Christmas movie and Balthazar agreed that throwing popcorn at Santa Clauses face was a lovely way to spend the evening.

Castiel was standing outside the ticket box waiting when Balthazar called.

"Hey, where are you?" Castiel asked, "it's about to start. Did you misplace your wallet again?"

"I'm-." the unmistakable sound of puke dropping into a toilet bowl came over the line, "Cast-." Dry heave, "I think I've got food poisoning." More puking. "rain check?"

"Of course, did you want me to come over?"

Even more puking.

"And have your mental image of me forever tarnished? No. I'll be fine, I'm just going to continue worshiping this porcelain god." Another splash in the toilet, "I'm gonna go."

"Feel better." Castiel started, but Balthazar had already hung up. He looked over at the ticket box, he didn't really feel like going home and decided there was no shame in going to a movie alone. Plus, he'd get the entire popcorn bucket to himself.

"One for Miracle on 34th Street please," he said to the lady behind the glass.

"Sorry sugar, that's sold out," she said, gesturing to the board behind her head, "but we've got a couple other Christmas movies playing." Castiel glanced at the titles. Elf, no, The Santa Claus, no, Scrooged…he had never seen Scrooged.

A few minutes and seventeen dollars lighter he made his way into the darkened theater, popcorn and diet coke tucked firmly under one arm. He found a seat perfectly situated, in the middle of the row, high above everybody else and leaned his head back in contentment. Until someone made their way down the row and sat right next to him.

"Hi," the personal space invader said. Castiel turned and found himself staring into a pair of familiar green eyes.

"Dean?"

The older man laughed. "I saw you sitting up here, you don't mind if I join you do you?" Castiel was quick to shake his head.

"Not at all, popcorn?" he held out his bucket. Dean flashed him a grin.

"Thanks," he dug a handful of buttery goodness out and shoved it in his mouth.

"Hey, I hope I didn't offend you yesterday." Castiel said. Dean gave him an adorably confused look, "in the elevator, you just kind of ran out-."

"Oh no man," Dean hastened to assure him, "Sammy and I just had to go do something for my work."

"What do you do?"

"I restore old cars," Dean explained, "There was an auction on a piece I needed and you have no idea how quick these things get snapped up."

"Oh," Castiel didn't understand why an auction made Dean incapable of saying goodbye, but chose to let it slide. After all, maybe he had and Castiel just hadn't heard him…not likely, but still possible.

The lights dimmed around them. Dean took another handful of popcorn. "I love this movie," he said, propping his feet up on the empty seat in front of him.

"I've never seen it," Castiel admitted, following suit. He felt rebellious, even though there was hardly anyone else in the theater and certainly no one in front of them, so his feet weren't exactly bothering people.

Still.

"Really?!" Dean looked affronted, "This is one of my all-time favorites!" The credits started rolling.

Castiel did like the movie, what he actually saw of it. Unsurprisingly, sitting next to someone as attractive as Dean in a darkened room had a certain distracting quality to it. It didn't help that every so often Dean would lean in closer to whisper something about the film in his ear. His warm breath sent waves of goosebumps shivering down Castiel's arms.

"So what did you think?" Dean asked once the end credits started.

"It was funny," Castiel smiled at him, the movie theater lights cast harsh shadows across his gorgeous face, it made him look chiseled and dramatic.

"Just funny?" Dean laughed, "Come on Cas, it was the greatest Christmas flick you've ever seen and you know it." They stood up, trooping down the stairs side by side.

"I like "Miracle on 34th Street," better," Castiel said. Dean scoffed.

"Why? Santa isn't actually real you know." Castiel gave him a pointed look.

"I know that, it's just nice to see that people can believe in something that does good. Rather than something that starts wars or alienates races. I like having my faith in mankind restored." Dean blinked at him, a slow smile pushing up the corners of his eyes. It had started snowing again and the glass theater doors showed the world of swirling white waiting for them.

"I'm meeting Sam at the Roadhouse," Dean said, "you want to come with?"

Castiel finished buttoning up his coat, "What's the Roadhouse?"

"Only the greatest bar in existence."

"I'm underage," Castiel reminded him, but Dean was already shaking his head.

"Trust me, it doesn't matter in this place. We're not going there to drink anyways; Ellen is making dinner." He flashed that grin of his again, "She's got the best pie you've ever tasted."

Castiel was already following him outside, "A bar has pie?"

"No, but Ellen does," Dean explained, "I'll drive. Hop in." They had stopped in front of an antique black car. Dean patted the dashboard fondly as they slid inside.

"Hey Baby," he murmured, turning the keys. The car started with a sputter and they were off.

"Did you restore this car too?" Castiel asked, looking around the interior, it was in remarkably good shape for something so old. The seats didn't have any cracks in them or anything.

Dean shook his head, "This was my Dad's," he explained, "It was the only thing he ever really took care of."

"Did he give it to you?"

Dean bit his lower lip, "Not exactly." Now it was Castiel's turn to look confused. Dean frowned, but replaced it with a smirk when he caught Castiel staring at him.

"So what is it you do for a living?" he asked, "I've never met a guy your age who can afford to live without twelve different roommates, one of whom may be possibly selling crack." He frowned. "Unless, you _**are**_ the one selling the crack?"

Castiel laughed, "No, I've never done drugs." Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I haven't! I don't sell them either. I play with the Eulalia Symphony Orchestra."

"Seriously!?" Dean looked impressed, "Was that why there was a piano at your place?" Castiel nodded. "Dude, they're like world famous. How did you score that gig?"

"My parents made me practice every day when I was a child, for hours. Something was bound to rub off."

"So you were one of those savant kids, who can like compose symphonies and write four hundred page novels in Latin?" Dean's eyes flicked back and forth between him and the road. Castiel shrugged.

"I can only play on an advanced level," he said, "I write sometimes, but I would hardly call it a symphony and I only know one phrase in Latin."

"What is it?"

"Vescere bracis meis."

"What does that mean?"

"Eat my shorts." Dean threw back his head and laughed.

They pulled into a snow covered gravel parking lot in front of a seedy-looking joint. Other than a panel van and large red truck theirs was the only car. Castiel took a shaky breath, this looked like a place where his body would be discovered come spring.

"Welcome to the Roadhouse." Dean said. Castiel followed him, but still kept his hand curled into a fist at his side just in case. He was so grateful he'd taken those self-defense classes at the Y.

The inside was completely dead except for two blonde women behind the bar locked in an arm wrestling completion.

"Give up honey," the older of the two said, "I haven't lost to you yet and I don't plan to start today."

"I've been working out," the younger insisted, "today is my day I can feel it." Then the older woman slammed her arm down on the counter.

"Ha!" The older woman cried triumphant, "in your face baby!" Then she noticed Dean and Castiel standing by the door.

"Dean!" she cried, rushing over to hug him, "You made it!" The younger woman had run after her and was standing a little way off, staring at Castiel.

"Who is this, Dean?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Castiel resisted the urge to back out the door.

"This is my friend Cas," Dean told the two, "Sam and Bobby aren't here yet?"

"No, but they better hurry up." The older woman said, sauntering back towards the bar, "the chili is getting cold."'

"I'm Jo," the younger girl said, sticking out a hand which Castiel shook.

"Castiel," he told her.

"That's a weird name."

"Jo!" Dean scolded.

"It's from the Bible," Castiel explained, "An angel of the Lord."

"Joanna Beth, you lost!" the older lady reminded her, "Don't dilly-daddle and take out the garbage." Jo sighed and turned to do as the other woman insisted. Dean smiled at Castiel and ushered him up to the bar.

It was nicer in here than Castiel would have suspected from the outside. The floors were well worn but clean, the bar had that loved wood look and the stools were a cheery red.

"I'm Ellen by the way, honey." The older woman said, sliding Dean a beer across the counter.

"Castiel."

The door banged back open in a gust of snowy wind, Joanna Beth trooped inside. "Bobby and Sam just pulled in," she told Ellen.

"Perfect, I'll go get the cornbread." Ellen disappeared into the back. Sam and a man about Ellen's age stumbled inside, shaking the white off their jackets. Jo ran forwards to take their coats.

"Thanks princess," the man Castiel was assuming was Bobby said. Jo stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Sam slid into the seat next to Dean.

"How'd it go?" Dean asked, taking another pull from his beer. Bobby had gone around the counter and was busy fixing himself something stronger.

"'Bout as well as you'd expect." Sam thunked his head down on the bar and groaned. Bobby took a sip of his whiskey then continued, "Stubborn ass fought us the whole way, but we got him there. I tell you son; it looks more like a prison than a rehab center. If this place can't hold him, nothing can."

"Good," Dean said darkly. Castiel wanted to ask what they were talking about but Dean's expression made him change his mind.

"Who's your friend?" Bobby asked, giving Castiel a once over.

"Bobby this is Cas." Dean said, gesturing with his beer bottle, "Cas, Bobby Singer."

"Nice to meet you," Castiel said. Bobby grunted at him and poured himself some more whiskey.

"Robert!" Ellen scolded, coming up behind them, wiping her hands on a dish towel, "be polite. You'll scare the boy."

"Don't tell me what to do Ellen," Bobby grumbled, but he set down his glass and shook hands with Castiel.

"Sam, go help Jo set the table," Ellen said. Sam peeled his head from the counter and took the pile of silverware that Ellen handed him.

"Come on," Dean slid off his stool and led Castiel into the back. They passed through an industrial sized kitchen into a smaller one attached to a living room, a hallway disappeared around a corner, presumably leading to more living space. A large square table took up most of the kitchen, Sam was busy unfolding another wing of it to make room for everyone, while Jo set out plates and glasses.

"Have a seat Cas," Ellen said, bustling up with a pan of cornbread. Castiel slid into a chair.

Deans family, because that's who these people were, never stopped talking. They were sarcastic and made fun of each other constantly. Bobby grumbled about everything but, Ellen kept her hand on his knee throughout the meal and Castiel saw the smiles he shot her way. He learned that Bobby was Dean's boss, but the way they spoke to each other was more like father and son. Sam too, seemed to look at the gruff older man as his positive male role model. Ellen was Bobby's wife and Jo's mother and while Jo was not Bobby's biological daughter it was clear how much she loved him.

After dinner Ellen served everyone else a slice of pie then put the half that was left in the tin on a plate and handed it to Dean. Castiel took a cautious bite. Absolute nirvana exploded across his tongue.

"Told you," Dean mumbled with his mouth full as Castiel started shoveling the dessert down as fast as he could.

They left with Sam half an hour later, Ellen gave Castiel a farewell hug, he was still smiling about it when Dean dropped him at his car.

"Thank you for inviting me," Castiel told the brothers, once they had all driven back to the Avalon Apartments and were standing in the elevator.

The doors opened on four and Dean and Sam dismounted, "Bye Cas," Dean smiled. Castiel waved until the doors slid shut again. He rode up to his apartment humming to himself, then he saw who was waiting for him and stopped dead.

"Hi Cassie," Gabriel grinned.


	4. Bob Seger:Against the Wind

It was almost eleven by the time they got back but, Dean didn't seem ready to go to bed. He hummed Metallica as he opened the fridge, searching for a beer.

"Why are you so smiley?" Sam asked, clipping the leash on Bone's collar. The golden retriever was growing stately in his old age. He waited patiently while Sam fumbled with the clasp, instead of leaping around the room like a jackrabbit the way he used to.

Dean shrugged as if he didn't know why himself. "Life is good Sammy." He moved what had once been a head of lettuce out of the way. Delving deeper into the fridges depths.

"Uh huh," Sam said, unconvinced. Life was good his ass, Dean had been nothing but joy filled for days now. It could have been because of the, "justice," they had inflicted upon Cas' ex. Sam had never seen so much blood come out of finger before, but that didn't match up with Dean's usual pattern. He was happy after a bit of vigilante work sure, but in a, "we have made the world a better place," sort of way. Now, he was…there was no other word for it, weird. He'd remembered to change the toilet paper roll when it ran out! That hadn't happened since Cindy Macintosh said she liked his jacket during Dean's senior year. Sam wasn't stupid, his big brother had a crush and he was ninety-seven percent sure he knew who it was.

The question was, how long would it take Dean to admit it to himself?

"Did I forget to buy beer?" Dean asked, withdrawing his head.

"You left it in the trunk remember," Sam shuddered catching sight of the chia pets littering the fridge shelves.

"Right!" Dean was out the door before Sam could get on him about cleaning. Sam shook his head and went to find a garbage bag, sometimes he wondered which one of them was really the little brother.

….

Castiel's mouth fell open, both of his siblings were sitting in the hall, leaning against his door. Anna was asleep against Gabe with her thumb halfway in her mouth.

"Buddy," he sputtered, "What-?"

"We ran away," Gabe explained, shifting Anna so he could stand up. Her eyes blinked halfway open and seeing Castiel she held up her arms in a silent demand. He picked her up, rocking her back and forth.

"You what?" he managed.

"We ran away," Gabe said again. "We waited until Mother and Father fell asleep and then we took the bus."

"How did you find where I lived?" Gabe and Anna had never been to his apartment.

"Fergus," Gabriel shrugged, "I Facebook messaged him and told him I wanted to send you a Christmas present. Then I Google mapped the bus route."

Castiel was flabbergasted, the last time he'd run away from home he'd packed a box of cookies and only made it to the mailbox.

"Now we can all live together again," Gabe smiled at him. Anna gave a sleepy groan, Castiel kissed her messy hair feeling the tears well up in his eyes. God, he was so sick of crying.

"No buddy we can't." He crouched down so he was eye to eye with his little brother. Gabriel frowned at him.

"Why not?" his lower lip started to tremble, "I thought you'd be happy to have us."

"Oh Gabe," Castiel sniffed, "Of course I would. If Mother and Father would agree I'd let you and Anna live here for forever, but I'm not your legal guardian, they are. The cops will arrest me if you stay here."

"They will?"

"Yeah buddy, they'll think I kidnapped you. We've gotta get you back home."

"I wanna stay with you," Anna whined, still half asleep. Castiel stood up, holding out a hand to Gabe, who took it.

"I know baby," he murmured to his sister, "I know."

They made it down to the lobby, Gabe sniffling quietly, Castiel tried to juggle Anna so he could open the door when it flew open on its own accord and a snowy figure almost collided with them.

….

The streets were deserted, the falling snow hushed the world. Dean's fingers practically froze to the door handle as he returned inside, beer successfully retrieved. A group of people were standing on the other side of the door. He almost knocked them all over in his haste to get out of the cold.

Sorry," Dean said, shaking the damp off his six pack, "I didn't see you – Cas?" Damn, this guy seemed to pop up a lot lately.

Not that Dean was complaining.

"Hello Dean."

One of the small people clinging to Cas shifted, Dean raised an eyebrow. Did Cas have kids? There had been no small children hanging around when he'd helped him home, unless they lived in the cupboards. "Who's this?"

"I'm Gabe," the little boy said coming forwards, he pointed at the girl Cas held, "that's Anna."

"These are my siblings," Castiel explained.

So, not his kids, got it, but Dean was still confused, had their parents dropped them off in the ten minutes since he and Cas had parted ways? "Novak family sleepover?" he asked.

"We ran away," Gabe said, crossing his arms, daring Dean to judge his decision. His brown eyes were harder than any eight-year old's had a right to be. Dean couldn't help but be reminded of another little boy, standing in front of his brother on a different cold winter's night…

" _We ran away from our Daddy…"_

…

 _It had been a good day. The Winchester clan almost never had days like this. Where their father was an actual dad, where Dean didn't have to take care of everyone. Where Sammy could be the kid he was._

 _John had taken his boys shooting. Helped Sam hold the tiny rifle he'd had made for him; told Dean he was proud when he hit a bulls eye in every target._

 _And then it all went to shit._

 _Dean had just finished giving Sammy a bath when their dad had stormed into the bathroom. He'd been hitting the hard stuff ever since they got home and it had turned him. Sometimes he was a laughing, story-teller, other times he just entered a coma, but today the black-eyed demon had over-taken him, the one who hated his sons for the wife they reminded him of._

 _"There you are!" John bellowed, leaning over them, "My little fuck-ups."_

 _Dean had seen the bottle he still clutched and stood up, putting Sam behind him. The then three-year old had gone silent, hoping if he stayed still the demon would forget he was there._

 _"Dad," Dean started. The punch knocked him off his feet, sending him bowling into Sam. Dean tasted pennies, blood dribbled out of his open mouth to pool on the floor._

 _"Shut up!" John screamed, "Shut up! Shut up! I never wanted you! I never wanted him!" Sam's eyes had gone blank, he never cried when John raged, he seemed to completely shut off, to take himself somewhere else. Dean wished he had that ability._

 _"Stupid, useless pieces of shit!" Sam was trying to pick himself up, but John grabbed him by the arm, flung him backwards out the door. He slid down the hall, ducky towel flying behind him like a cape._

 _"Leave him alone!" Dean groaned, staggering upright. Never before had his father touched Sam. He'd screamed at him as he'd beat Dean black and blue, but he'd never hurt the little boy._

 _"Leave him alone!" John mocked, "What? You have a problem with me disciplining my son? I can do anything I want to him! I can do anything I want to you!" He had Dean by the ear, was pulling him towards the kitchen. Sam was under the table, curled into as small of a ball as he could get. John yanked him out by the ankle, dropping Dean on the linoleum._

 _"I'm the father in this house!" John shouted, "my word is law!" He had his knife out of its sheath, had it pointed at Sam's bare chest, was pushing the tip in. Sam let out a whimper and Dean knew nothing else until a few minutes later when his dad was unconscious on the kitchen floor and Sam was clinging to him like he was never going to let go. Dean's knuckles burned, his thumb ached. He didn't know what had happened, he only knew they had to go._

 _"Come on Sammy," he'd said. "We're leaving."_

 _They took the Impala, tossing their meager bags of clothes and possessions in the trunk. Dean technically didn't have a license, but he'd been driving since he was eight. Sam didn't have a car seat either, any cop that pulled them over was going to send them straight into the system where they probably would never see each other again._

 _That fact didn't stop Dean from going ninety until they hit the state line._

…

Dean blinked away the memories that were flooding in, threatening to overwhelm him. Cas looked at him, pale as the snow outside. Dean wanted to smooth the worry lines off his forehead.

"Do you need to get them home?" He asked.

…

"Do you need to get them home?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, "Hopefully before my parents realize their gone and call the police."

"I can help," Dean put his six pack on the ground and pushed the door open. Castiel would have blustered a few objections but he was starting to realize that when Dean Winchester offered you assistance it was pointless to argue. The man was a white knight, but instead of a horse, he drove a 67 Impala.

…

Cas helped his little brother into the car and then slid his little sister in after him, buckling her seatbelt for her.

"Castiel, who's that man?" she whispered loudly.

"That's my friend Dean," Cas told her. Dean got into the passenger's seat, through the rearview mirror he saw Anna's appraising look.

"Is he a prince?" Anna asked, Cas' started the car up, still looking grim.

"No, he's not a prince."

"What if we all ran away together?" Gabe suggested, "We could go live in Egypt and hunt mummies!"

" _You and me Sam, we just need to stick together. I'll kick anyone's ass who tries to separate us…"_

…

 _For a year and a half they hadn't stopped moving. They kept to the back roads and small towns, Dean would get a job as mechanic for a few weeks until inevitably his boss started asking questions. Dean didn't trust anyone and when that happened they would be packed up and gone before the sun set._

 _When he couldn't find a job, which was more often than not, (there weren't many business owners willing to take a chance on a ratty looking sixteen-year-old,) Dean stole, only enough to get them by, but the better he got at it, the more his conscience ached. They slept in the car, so as not to waste money on motel rooms, showering and brushing their teeth at truck stops._

 _"We don't need anyone else Sammy," he told his brother, "I'll take care of you and you'll take care of me."_

 _Then he'd met Bobby Singer._

….

"We'd never make it on the plane Gabe, they'd be looking for us at the airports."

Dean shook his head, focusing back on the present.

"We could wear disguises!"

Cas' eyes were suspiciously bright, his grip on the steering wheel tightened. Dean turned around and smiled at the kids.

"You know, I've killed a mummy before."

"Really?" Anna asked awed.

"Was it trying to eat people?" Gabe asked, growing excited. Dean nodded solemnly.

"It was a two-thousand-year old Egyptian Queen, who's ghost wanted revenge….

….

Castiel cut the lights as they pulled into the back driveway. Dean, bless him, was still spinning his tale of monster hunting. They'd moved on from mummies to zombies, to vampires, to werewolves. Apparently Dean had killed them all.

"And then, Blam!" Dean concluded, "He melted into a puddle of black goo!"

"Were the little girls okay?" Anna wanted to know.

"Me and Sam got them home," Dean told her, "They were just fine."

"We're here guys." Castiel said, both of their faces fell.

"Cassie," Gabe whined. Castiel shook his head.

"Gabriel I know you don't want to be here, but you have to. You've got to promise me you won't run away again." Gabe looked down, swinging his legs.

"Gabriel," Castiel said sternly. Gabe nodded, not looking up, not saying anything. Castiel sighed, he would not start crying, he would not start crying. "Alright, come on, we'll sneak you back in through the kitchen."

"Do you think Mother and Father will be mad if they see us?" Anna asked.

"Yes," Castiel said, opening his door, that's why we're going to be very quiet." Gabe helped Anna out of her seatbelt and then stomped his way over to the kitchen door.

"The alarms on," he said, gruffly, "I rigged the window." He pointed, on the inside of the glass Castiel saw a refrigerator magnet attached to the alarm sensor.

"Clever," Dean said approvingly.

Anna tugged on Dean's coat, "Can you come over and play sometime?" she asked. Dean dropped down to her level.

"I'll try my best," he told her. Anna flung her arms around his neck, Dean looked shocked, but hugged the little girl back.

"Gabe," Castiel tried to hug his brother, but the little boy pulled away. "Buddy, I'm sorry it has to be this way -."

"I won't run away again," Gabe promised, scuffing his feet. "I'm sorry Cassie."

"It's okay buddy," Gabriel let himself be pulled into a hug, "I love you. It isn't going to be like this forever."

"You think Father and Mother will change their minds?"

"I don't know," Castiel admitted, "but whatever happens we'll figure it out, okay?" Gabe gave him one last squeeze and then let Dean boost him through the window.

"Bye, baby girl," Castiel hugged Anna, she planted a kiss on Dean's cheek after he lifted her through the window frame.

"You'll always be a prince to me," she told him. Dean went pink, it was clear Anna had him wrapped around her little finger.

…

 _They had just driven into town and were looking for a place to stop the car for the night. Sam was hungry and trying not whine about it, but he was only five and they hadn't had anything since dinner the night before. He kept looking hopefully at the restaurants they passed, nose pressed to the window. Dean's heart twisted, they were riding on fumes, he didn't even have enough in his pocket for a Happy Meal. A salvage yard was sprawled out on his right, inside the ramshackle office he could see a lit up snack machine._

 _"What do you say to Funyuns and M &M's for dinner?" Dean asked Sam. The little boy started bouncing excitedly._

 _"Do they have the crispy kind?" he asked. Dean pulled the car to the side of the road._

 _"Only one way to find out." Normally, he would leave Sam in the car while he pulled off his heist, but for some reason the locks weren't working and he hadn't had a chance to fix them yet. He couldn't risk his brother getting kidnapped if someone decided to jack the Impala. He picked the gate lock with a paper clip and led them into the darkened lot._

 _Half way demolished cars rose up like monsters out of the gloom, Dean and Sam jumped over cords and puddles of mysterious fluid, the lock to the office proved trickier than the one at the gate. Dean was at it several minutes before the door finally swung open. He smiled triumphantly._

 _A low growl came from the blackness behind them._

 _"Dean!" Sam latched onto his jacket. Dean whirled around, a large dog was creeping towards them, yellow fangs bared, belly low to the ground._

 _"Don't move Sammy," Dean whispered._

 _"That'd be smart," Bobby came up behind the dog, carrying a loaded shotgun. He looked disappointed that it was only two kids creeping into his office, Dean got the feeling he would just love to shoot somebody._

 _"Silver, heel," Bobby'd ordered and the dog had come to sit, panting by his side. Dean pushed Sam behind him._

 _"Now what exactly do you two idjits think you're doing?" Bobby asked, crossing his arms. "Does your Daddy know that you think it's fun to break into other people's lots?" Sam rushed forward before Dean could stop him, he planted himself in front of his brother and glared up at the mechanic._

 _"We ran away from our Daddy," he said, "And we weren't going to steal anything big, just some food. Dean and I aren't crooks!" His stare dared Bobby to disagree._

 _"Ran away huh?" the old man grunted, beard twitching, "how long you two been on your own?"_

 _"Look, we're sorry," Dean said, shooing Sam towards the gate, "we'll leave alright. Don't -."_

 _"Don't tell me what to do boy," Bobby growled, "And answer the question. How long you been on your own?"_

 _"A-awhile," Dean stammered. Sam wrapped both his little arms around Dean's waist and glowered with all his might at Bobby._

 _"Stop making that face son," Bobby told him, "it'll freeze like that." Sam looked horrified and desperately tried to smooth his features into something more normal. Bobby's beard twitched again, Dean couldn't tell if he was smiling or about to spit Tabaco juice at them._

 _"The wife has got a pot of chowder on the stove," Bobby said, "nasty stuff. You two better come into the house and finish it off so I don't have to eat anymore of it."_

 _Dean wanted to say no thank you to the crazy man's poison stew, but he could still call the cops and there was the dog to worry about. Though right at that moment she didn't look too dangerous, rolled over as she was at the man's feet wagging her stump of a tail. He nodded and they followed Bobby to his home._

 _He lived on the lot, the house looked just as run down as everything else but inside it was nice, with curtains in the windows and dust less pictures on the walls. It smelled good too, a pretty blonde woman seemed to be the reason for that. She hummed to herself as she puttered around the kitchen, stirring pots and leaving things to cool on racks._

 _"Bobby!" A blonde girl a few years older than Sam rushed forwards to be hugged._

 _"Two more for dinner Ellen," Bobby said._

 _And that was the beginning…_

…

"Thank you," Cas said. Dean started, they had been driving in silence for quite a few minutes and he had been lost in thought.

"No problem," he said, recovering his bearings, "I wasn't much help. When I volunteered I was picturing something with a few more thrilling heroics." He'd meant to make Cas laugh, but the younger man just tightened his grip on the wheel.

"Sorry to disappoint." He said.

"Cas," Dean started to reach out to him, but then drew his hand back at the last second. "Are you okay?"

Cas laughed then, but it was completely sarcastic, "Oh, I'm great! Fantastic you could say! The two people I love the most have been put under house arrest by my own father. Lies about me are told to them daily by my mother, who knows how long it'll be before they hate my guts. Yeah, Dean, I'm doing awesome!"

Dean frowned and turned back to the window, "Sorry I asked."

Cas sighed, "No, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." They pulled up to red light and he turned to Dean, "I'm just frustrated."

"Why?"

"I'm gay."

"I know…?" Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

"My parents seem to believe that this has caused Jesus to turn his back on me and that they must also turn their backs, by stopping any contact with me before I corrupt them with my evil ways."

"So…? You want your parents to accept your gay…stuff?" Cas rolled his eyes, the light turned green and he gunned his ancient car forwards.

"They won't let me see Anna and Gabe anymore."

"Because you will corrupt them with your evil." Cas rested his chin on top of his hands on the steering wheel. Dean dug his fingers into the arm rest, resisting the urge to tell him to stop that. Sam was right, he was a control freak in the car. Not that he was ever admitting that to Sam.

"I guess," Cas continued to drive all bent over, Dean's grip on the armrest tightened. "but I halfway think it's just to be cruel. My father was very disappointed I didn't go into politics like him." He straightened up and the silence stretched between them. They pulled into the same parking space by the building they'd vacated forty minutes earlier.

"Hey," Dean said. Cas paused with his hand on the door handle, "if it means anything coming from me. I don't think those two kids could ever hate you." Cas smiled sadly.

"I really hope you're right." He said.

"You want to join me for a beer?" Dean offered, the smile got a bit wider, some of the sadness left his eyes.

"Sure."


	5. Keith Urban:Somebody Like You

There was always that awkward adjustment period when you went over to somebody's house you didn't know very well, at least for Castiel there was. He felt like he didn't know the rules and therefore had to remain on his best behavior at all times, least he break some unspoken law and forever be marked by the person as, "that one guy who _."

At Dean's there was none of his normal social ineptness, he was just, welcome.

Which he wouldn't think would be the case, given the last time he'd been here. Castiel shook his head, pushing **that** vomit-stained memory to the back of his mind. They sat on either side of the small kitchen table and Dean handed him an open bottle.

"Thanks," Castiel said. He took a sip. Dean studied his face.

"So, your folks are real bible thumpers, huh?" Castiel sighed.

"They didn't used to be so bad," he explained, "when I was younger we only went to church on Christmas and Easter."

"What changed?" Dean asked.

"My father became a representative for the conservative party." Castiel studied the wood grain of the table, "he wanted everyone who looked at our lives to have no doubts that he actually believed in the things he was claiming to believe in."

Dean made a face, "Wasn't there some scroll or order or something God wrote that said, don't lie?"

Castiel took another sip, "You shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Commandment number nine."

"So how does Big Papa justify that?"

"I don't think he sees it as lying," Castiel explained, "he believes what his platform stands for now, or he's said it so many times that he thinks he does and he's buried any proof that could state otherwise. Including me." He sighed, tracing a finger over the label of his beer, "If people found out he was still in contact with his gay son, just imagine what it could do to his ratings."

Dean took a long pull from his bottle, "So screw 'em." Castiel looked up sharply.

"Excuse me?"

"Screw 'em," Dean said again, "Screw your folks, screw the conservative party, screw God for fucks sake-"

"None of this is God's fault," Castiel interrupted. Dean laughed and then seeing that he wasn't joking, frowned, leaning forward intently.

"How is it not God's fault? If he's even real, then he created a religion that makes its followers shun anyone who lives differently from them?"

Castiel leaned forward also, so their faces were mere inches apart. Dean's plump lips were pressed together, drawing the blood from his mouth, a white line forming where they met. It was very difficult not to focus on this.

"God never said to shun or hate anyone," Castiel said, forcing himself to continue arguing his point. "That was human beings who enacted that, one hundred percent." Dean's lips mashed tighter, Castiel suddenly had a hard time breathing.

"So you're saying God gets no blame for billions of people throughout history using his name to do horrible things? If he's so all powerful and shit why didn't he stop them? Why doesn't he tell assholes like your parents that they're wrong?"

Castiel made himself concentrate by mind-yelling at his downstairs brain that now was not the time. "Free will," he said. Dean opened his mouth to disagree, but Castiel stopped him, "I know you probably don't think that's a valid excuse, but I do. I don't fault God for my parents, they chose to be this way." Dean grunted, unconvinced. He slid back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table.

"They did," Castiel insisted, "God never wanted anyone to ostracize anyone. Jesus walked with sinners every day, he ate dinner with prostitutes and called thieves his friends. He said, let he who has never sinned cast the first stone. He was the only one there who could have thrown a rock, but he didn't."

"So you aren't mad at God, because he was nice to a lady who cheated on her husband?" Castiel laughed.

"No, I'm not mad at God because, I don't have anything to be mad at him about. He's never done anything but love me and show me how to be a better man." Dean stared at him for a second and Castiel's heart sped up. Great, now he'd done it. Wasn't one of the things you were never supposed to talk about with people you were just getting to know religion? And here he was spouting his, but the greatest of these is love, spiel all over the place. Dean was never going to talk to him again, they were going to go from friendly to exchanging tense nods in the elevator.

Then a slow smile crept its way across Dean's face just like it had in the movie theater. He took his feet off the table and stood up to get another beer.

"You're something else Cas," he said.

"Thanks?" Castiel cocked his head at him and Dean laughed.

"I still think you're wrong," he said, plopping himself back into his chair. "In my book God, if he even exists, which I'm not so sure, is a giant dick, but if believing in him makes you that fired-up to be a goody-two-shoes then you just go right on believing." His crossed his legs.

"You are wrong about Miracle on 34th Street though. That is an idiotic movie."

…

Balthazar opened the door after the third time he knocked. Castiel was taken aback, his friend looked like death, worse, like death had the flu and was still being forced to go run a couple of miles.

"Castiel?" Balthazar croaked, his pale lips stretching into the semblance of a smile.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Castiel said, Balthazar grimaced but opened the door wider so he could slip inside.

"Never eat gas station sushi," Balthazar sank back into his nest of blankets on the couch, "no matter how good the cute girl at the checkout counter insists it is."

Castiel choked back a laugh, "you ate gas station sushi?"

"And am now being punished for my stupidity." Castiel shook his head, smiling. Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him.

"You seem…. happier than you were yesterday." He observed, pulling his blankets tighter around his shoulders, "Did you and Fergus get back together?"

"No," Castiel sighed, sinking down on the other end of the couch, "Though he did give me all of my things back."

"He took your stuff?! You forgot to mention that little detail!"

Castiel shrugged, smiling apologetically, "Well he gave it back," he explained, "so it doesn't really matter anymore."

Balthazar made a disgruntled growl that turned into a coughing fit, Castiel went to the kitchen and brought him back a glass of water, which he gulped down gratefully.

"Of course it matters Castiel," his friend said once he could talk again, "had I known the ass had robbed you I would have been justified in beating him to a pulp." He laid his head back against the couch cushions, "In fact I'll do that as soon as I can move further away from the toilet."

Castiel made a face, "Please don't," he took the glass from Balthazar and refilled it, setting it on the table next to him. "It's over, pretty amicably I might add all things considered, I want it to stay that way."

Balthazar sighed gustily, "fine," he agreed, closing his eyes, "but the next man who stomps on your heart is getting a beat down." Castiel nodded while silently resolving to not tell him about anymore of his boy troubles.

"So if it's not Fergus what's got you so glow-y?" the horn player asked, he cracked open one eye, "Did you do something I would be proud of? A pole dance in the middle of downtown? Hot sex with a random stranger?"

Castiel shrugged again, he hardly knew himself. His life was not going what would be classified as great right now, but he'd woken up that morning in a bubble of happiness. All of his problems seemed pushed to the wayside. Things that would normally hurt him seemed to bounce off an invisible shield. Naomi had called him an incompetent boob during rehearsal and he had just smiled at her. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit? That was a thing, right? In the stories he used to hear in church the Christmas spirit was capable of making blind men see and cripples walk…or maybe that had been Jesus?

Well, who or whatever he had to thank for his euphoria Castiel was grateful.

"Castiel?"

Castiel shook himself out of his thoughts, Balthazar had both eyes open now, to better stare at him, he laughed.

"Yes, Balthazar, I've had a complete personality re-haul in the twenty-four hours since we last saw each other. I've become a stripper by the name of Indigo Harley and last night I made my first grand dancing for the mayor."

Balthazar seemed mollified by his lame attempt at wittiness, at least he shut his eyes again, smiling, "You realize, I hope, that your stripper name would essentially be blue motorbike?"

…

Sam was a morning person.

Always had been. It used to drive Dean nuts, his inability to sleep in on Saturdays. He'd barge into his brother's room begging him to play at seven in the morning and you could see it took every ounce of Dean's self-control to not suffocate him with his pillow.

Now that he was older, he still liked to get up about an hour or so before the rest of the world was even thinking about it. He'd start a pot of coffee and go for a run, when he came back it would be steaming and ready for him.

Dean didn't usually wake up until after he got back. Way, after he got back.

This morning however, Sam shuffled into the kitchen and there his big brother was, making pancakes, he stopped dead and stared.

"Morning Sammy," Dean said cheerfully, adding another cake to the stack of them staying warm in the oven, "you want some breakfast?"

Sam was too stunned to reply; Dean didn't seem to notice.

"So hey, I was thinking. We should go all out this year."

"All out?" Sam asked, finding his voice, he wandered towards the coffee pot only to realize that it was already in the final stages of brewing. He glanced at Dean suspiciously.

"For Christmas," The pod person pretending to be his brother went on. "I know we usually just go over to Bobby and Ellen's, but what'd'ya say to us getting a tree?"

"A tree?"

"Yeah! I mean you're in college already, who knows how many more Christmases we'll have in the same house, we should, you know, make the most of it." He flipped a finished pancake in the air and caught it with his mouth, practically inhaling the thing whole.

That was the Dean, Sam knew and loved, he found himself nodding, "A tree would be nice." He admitted, "we haven't had one since I was little."

Dean laughed, "What can I say? Once you stopped believing in Santa I got lazy."

"You're the one who told me he wasn't real!" Dean grinned at him.

"I know."

"Jerk." Sam grabbed the pancake plate from under his brother's arm.

"Bitch!" Dean protested.

…

There was a note on Castiel's door and reading it made his grin turn into a face demolishing smile. He practically skipped down to the Winchesters apartment.

Sam opened the door, "Cas, perfect timing," he said, pulling on his jacket, "we were just about to leave."

"We're really going Christmas tree shopping?" Castiel asked, unable to hide his glee.

"You bet your sweet ass we are," Dean said, coming up behind his brother, "Hi Cas."

"Hello Dean."

…

They took Sam's truck to the lot and spent the next hour debating over short trees, tall trees, full trees and one that had branches like skeletons arms.

Once the seven-foot-tall, noble fir had been selected and safely strapped into the bed of the truck they spent the next two hours in Home Depot, trying decide on lights. A color scheme was completely beyond Dean, he wanted the brightest, most-seizure-inducing decorations and to hell with matching. Sam opted for white and silver, Castiel's vote was for traditional red and green. They ended up buying a little bit of everything and the resulting explosion of Christmas that took place in the Winchesters living room would have made even the heartiest of Santa's elves shudder.

"Dean, I know you wanted to make our last few bachelor Christmases special," Sam called from the kitchen, where he was busy trying to shove a honey-baked ham into the fridge. They had also stopped at the grocery store and bought anything that had ever been on a fictional TV families Christmas table. "But don't you think we've gone a little too far. That tree is –."

"The best tree ever, is what it is," Dean called back, stepping away to admire their handiwork. Castiel tacked his last paper snowflake chain to the ceiling and came to stand beside him, nodding his agreement.

"A display worthy of Better Homes and Garden's," he said. Dean grinned down at him, Sam came into the living room and pressed cups of eggnog into both of their hands.

"Cheers," he said, raising his mug, they raised theirs in salute.

"Cheers."


	6. Pink:Just Give Me a Reason

A large man was walking towards him holding an electric hair clipper. Castiel backed away until he was pressed against the wall, hands shot out of the plaster to hold him in place. Castiel tried to push them off but his arms weren't working. That was frustrating, he tried to tell the large man to go away, but his voice wasn't working either, all that would come out was a croak.

"Just a trim," the large man laughed, his eyes were black pools in his pale face, Castiel's knees were shaking. He tried to shout for help, nothing, but a drawn out squeak. The man grabbed him by the chin, the clippers powered on, Castiel tried to fight him off…and fell with a thud out of bed.

"Nonotmyhair!" Castiel shouted. No one answered. Obviously that had been a dream. The black-eyed-man was not real. He was sitting on the floor of his darkened bedroom and his cell phone was buzzing on the nightstand. Castiel picked it up…Gabe! He accepted the facetime request.

"Hey Buddy," he said, "what are you still doing up?"

"I had to tell you something," his little brothers face was bright with excitement. Behind him Castiel could see pink walls and unicorn posters, Gabe must be in Anna's room.

"What?" Castiel switched on his bedside light and crawled back into his bed.

"Mother is going on a retreat with her bible study group and Father has a business trip! They're going to be gone for two whole weeks!"

"Really?" Castiel sat up a little straighter, "Who are you and Anna staying with?"

"Lucie," Gabe said, naming the families nanny of many years. A kindly old woman who'd taken care of all three of the Novak children as babies, but now only came to help when their parents were out of town. "If we tell her that Anna and I are going over to friends' houses, or staying after school for something we can see each other almost every day!"

Castiel winced, "I don't know buddy, that's a lot of lying." Anna's face pressed into the screen.

"What's the matter Castiel? Do you not want to see us?" she asked. Castiel wavered with his conscience for all of two milliseconds, he could never resist Anna's puppy look. She and Sam should get together and write a book on manipulating people using only their eyes.

"When do they leave?" Castiel sighed.

"Tomorrow morning," Gabe's smiling face was back, pressed as close to the screen as possible. Castiel could count his freckles.

"I'll pick you up after school," he promised. Anna gave a squeal of delight and Gabe shushed her. Castiel mock-frowned at the screen, "Now both of you go to bed." He ordered, "it's late."

"Night Castiel," Anna said, blowing him a kiss.

"Love you," Gabe said, and the screen went blank. Castiel leaned back against his pillows, refusing to think of the wrongness of his soon to be deception and the possible consequences if they got caught. He was smiling uncontrollably as he drifted back off to sleep.

…

"And then the bloody tart starts singing," Balthazar wound down as they exited the rehearsal hall. He was still pale and wobbly, but Naomi and forced him to come to practice. "Stomps up to the microphone and starts braying a song, while everyone cheers like they're at a Taylor Swift concert. It was awful, I was humiliated for her."

"Did you just call Lauren Graham a bloody tart?" Castiel asked, ever so slightly horrified.

Balathazar pulled a face, "She's not pretty Castiel and everyone makes her out to be this gorgeous creature, it bugs me."

"She's Lorelai Gilmore!" Castiel protested, "She is an idol! Her personality and wit make up for any physical flaws she might have. How can you spend two days on your couch watching Gilmore Girls and not understand this?"

"Cas!" someone called, Balthazar and Castiel both turned to see Dean trotting towards them, holding two steaming Starbucks cups.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Balthazar murmured. Castiel's cheeks experienced a hot-flash. He was so glad he would never be a woman going through menopause.

"Hello Dean," he managed.

"I had to drop off a finished car in the area and remembered that you guys practiced here," Dean said, handing him one of the cups, "I thought you could use some caffeine."

"Thank you," Castiel brought the fragrant coffee up to his nose. Mmmm, the Pike Place Market roast, with cream and sugar, perfect. Beside him Balthazar cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry," Castiel said, coming out of his nerdy coffee appreciation moment, "Balthazar, this is my friend Dean. Dean, this is Balthazar. He plays in the Symphony with me"

"Nice to meet you Dean," Balthazar smirked, shaking the other man's hand. There was a brief pause, then. "Well, I must be going." Balthazar said, "I have a bed that needs my undivided attention, I'll see you tomorrow Castiel." He walked away, still smirking. Castiel watched him go over Deans shoulder, he turned after a few steps and made the, call me, gesture. Castiel looked back at Dean, blushing.

"This was really nice of you," he said, holding aloft his cup, "I love Starbucks."

"Yeah, I'm addicted too," Dean laughed. Castiel appreciated the way his eyes crinkled as he did so. God, he was adorable, Castiel would be lying if he said his face wasn't the one he'd been picturing in his "fantasies" lately.

"Hey, are you hungry?" Dean asked, "because there is this great deli around the corner from here." Castiel's blush deepened, he stuffed his dirty thoughts back into their cage, swallowing hard.

"Actually I'm going to go pick up Anna and Gabe from school," he said. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Your parents have a miraculous change of heart?"

Castiel grinned sheepishly, "They're out of town," he explained, "The kids told the babysitter that they're going to a friend's house."

"Ah, subterfuge," Dean smirked, "my favorite." Then he surprised Castiel completely by adding, "Can I come?"

"To pick them up?" Castiel cocked his head to the side. He hated that he did that when he was confused, it made him look like a dog. He forced his neck to realign.

"Yeah," Dean was grinning, "I kind of liked the little rug rats. That Gabe is as smart as a whip."

Castiel couldn't help but agree, "He really is. His teachers are talking about letting him skip a couple of grades next year."

"So can I come?" Dean asked again.

"If you really want to," Castiel shrugged. He led the way to his car. Dean had apparently walked from Starbucks after dropping off the customer's car and was planning on taking the bus home.

Castiel couldn't picture him on the bus.

….

Lambs Elementary School was one of those private academies where only the rich could afford to send their children. Castiel's car looked very shabby waiting in line for pick-up next to all the Mercedes and Bentley's and Rolls-Royce's. Dean looking at the luxury vehicles surrounding them was nearly foaming at the mouth.

"That's a 1957 Mercedes 300SL Gullwing!" he exclaimed, fogging up the window he was breathing so hard. "Cas look!"

"All I see is an old car," Castiel told him. Dean snapped his head around aghast.

"Cas, that is the coolest car to ever hit the pavement!" he lectured. Castiel watched as the kid it was picking up flipped the door up like Marty Mcfly did to the DeLorean.

"Okay that was neat," Castiel admitted.

Dean barked a laugh. "Neat?! It's amazing." His face went back to the glass as he watched the time machine drive away, "Oh, what I wouldn't do to get my hands on one of those."

"Cassie!" Gabe and Anna had spotted them in the line and come racing over. Gabriel threw open the door first and seeing who was sitting in the passenger seat, froze. Anna scrambled around him.

"Prince Dean!" She cried wrapping her arms around Dean's neck, Gabe climbed in after her glowering at his brother.

"Dean wanted to see you guys again," Castiel explained as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Hmmm," Gabe grunted, clearly not happy that someone was crashing their sibling time. Castiel kept glancing at him in the review mirror as Anna launched into an excited recap of her day.

"And I was right when I marked tomatoes as a fruit not a vegetable," she wound down as they pulled up in front of the apartment building, "and that made Jenelle super mad, because she thought they were vegetables and so she lost the contest and now she's not talking to me anymore."

"Sounds like Jenelle is a sore loser," Castiel told her leading the way to the elevator, a homeless man was huddled next to the door, he rummaged in his pockets for change, but came up empty. Anna grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"Can Dean hang out with us too?" she tried to whisper.

"If he wants to," Castiel smiled at Dean, Gabe crossed his arms, looking resolutely at the elevator.

"I've got an unassembled gingerbread house in my cupboard," Dean said, Gabe turned towards him, arms falling open. "You guys like candy right?"

"That depends," Gabriel said, still trying to be gruff, "What kind did you get?"

Dean wiggled his eyebrows at him, "What didn't I get?"

…

Gabriel loved candy. It was his Achilles heel. Castiel always told him to stay away from strangers who tried to get him to come with them, but if the strangers were offering candy Gabe wasn't sure he'd have the willpower. Which he knew was bad. It was why he was studying escape tactics, and knot tying, so once he kicked the stranger's butts and took the candy he could tie them up.

Not that he would necessarily need to tie them up after he'd beat them senseless, but the boy scout motto was, always be prepared. Gabe wasn't actually a boy scout, but he didn't think they'd mind if he used their slogan.

Anyways.

He'd been kind of annoyed when Castiel had brought his new friend to their rendezvous, but then Dean had opened his cupboard and stacked a glorious pile of Christmas themed chocolate, gumdrops, candy canes, those-mints-that-taste-like-butter, marshmallows and a couple of things Gabe had never heard of on his dining room table.

And he'd thought that maybe this Dean guy wasn't so bad.

Then the next day Castiel had taken them ice skating. Dean came and made an obstacle course on the ice out of orange cones, then when Gabe had completed it the fastest, even against the two grown-ups, he gave him an entire jumbo bag of sour gummi worms as a grand and glorious prize.

The day after that Dean let Gabe drive around the parking lot of the mall while Castiel and Anna were still inside telling Santa her list, (it was very detailed.) He didn't get the car over twenty miles an hour and almost ran it into a light pole, but Dean said he'd done great and gave him a fist-sized jawbreaker in exchange for not mentioning the experience to Cassie.

Every time they saw each other Dean found some way to get Gabe some candy and Gabe wasn't stupid. He watched TV, (the channels he wasn't supposed to be watching were very informative,) he knew Dean was trying to buy his affection with sweets.

It was totally working.

Well, the candy and how much Cassie seemed to like him.

Gabriel had been watching his older brother for years now, he knew when he liked somebody. He'd followed him around to his clubs when he'd been little and Cassie had let him hang out with him and his friends. He'd known that Castiel liked boys' way before his parents had found out, just unlike them, he hadn't thought it was a big deal. Liking other boys didn't stop Cassie from being awesome and to Gabe there was no denying that his big brother, was, pretty much, the greatest person on the planet.

So, if Castiel said that Dean was cool, that was good enough for Gabe, but…he also didn't want the candy supply to dry up…he decided he wouldn't let Dean know he liked him just yet…

Maybe he would get lucky and for Christmas Dean would give him one of those giant Pez dispensers that he'd always wanted.

…

"They're starting to like you better than they like me," Castiel complained on the ride home.

It was five days into his parent's absence and Dean had come with him every day to spend time with his siblings. They usually hung out afterwards too. Not that Castiel was complaining about that part. They'd eat dinner with Sam, or Bobby and Ellen, or Jo, who Dean treated exactly the same way he treated Anna, (Castiel suspected Jo was the reason Dean was so good with the little girl,) then they'd watch movies and talk until it was time for bed.

And then to Castiel's deep regret they would go their separate ways.

"They remind me of Sammy and Jo when they were little," Dean smiled at him from the driver's seat. They'd taken Sam's truck to the drive in movie theater and sat in the bed, swaddled in dozens of blankets, eating popcorn and watching Home Alone. Gabe had loved all the traps Macaulay Caulkin had set up, Castiel felt sorry for Lucie. Undoubtedly she was going to be pranked tonight.

"I kinda miss having them be that small, you know." Dean went on, "It made me feel needed."

"They still need you," Castiel assured him. "Sam and Jo look up to you."

Dean scoffed, "They picked the wrong guy to do that to."He mumbled.

"Why would you say that?" Castiel asked.

They pulled onto their street, the homeless man was back again. Castiel needed to remember to put more change in his pocket for him. Dean didn't respond, just tightened his grip on the wheel and steered them into one of the parking spaces near the front door.

"Dean?"

"No reason man, let's talk about something else." Dean said gruffly.

"But-."

"I said I don't want to talk about it Cas!" Dean flung open his door and started towards the building. Castiel sat in the empty cab, feeling whiplashed. Slowly, he followed, the homeless man looked up as he approached.

"Spare change?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," Castiel told him robotically, he started to tug the lobby door open when the tramps hand clutched onto the tail of his jacket.

"That man, Dean Winchester, what do you know about him?"

"I-." Castiel could see Dean waiting for the elevator, hands clenched at his sides. He tried to tug himself away but the hobo was surprisingly strong. He stood up, grasping Castiel's shoulders.

"He's a rotten boy," the homeless man continued, "doesn't pay his debts. Takes things that are rightfully mine!"

"Please!" Castiel tugged harder, "Let go!"

"Not until you tell me what you know!"

"Hey!" A firm hand wrenched Castiel out of the man's grip and Dean shoved him behind him. "Leave him alone!" He gave the old man's chest a push and the tramp tripped, falling to the slushy ground, he let out a yowl of pain. Dean got a good look at his face and let out a curse.

"This is the way you treat your elders and better boy?!" the hobo shouted, "I raised you to be respectful!"

Castiel was so confused, "What -?" he started.

Dean turned to him, green eyes snapping. "Cas, this is John Winchester. He's my father."


	7. Swift Sheeran:Everything Has Changed

The hard plastic of the waiting room chair was making Castiel's thighs fall asleep, besides him Dean was hunched over, his face resting between his fists.

The smell of bleach was heavy in the air; muffled shouts could be heard through the padded doors. Dean heaved a shaky breath, Castiel put a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some form of comfort.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked. They were the first words he'd spoken in over three hours. "He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, I'm fine." Castiel assured him.

"Good," Dean straightened up, nervously carding a hand through his hair, "good."

A pair of doors at the end of the hall opened, a doctor approached them, along with Sam and Bobby Singer. Dean didn't seem to see them until they were standing directly in front of him, he blinked slowly up at Bobby.

"He's back in his room Dean," Bobby said, "they've got him hog-tied to the bed."

Dean nodded, Sam sat down in the seat next to him. The doctor started talking, Castiel didn't understand a word of his babble. Dean's breathing grew shaky again, without thinking Castiel moved the hand that still rested on the other man's shoulder in small circles. Like his mother used to do when he was feeling sick. Bobby shook hands with the doctor who then disappeared back behind the double doors.

"Come on boys," Bobby rumbled, "I'll take you home." Dean stood, Castiel's hand sliding down his back as he moved away.

The ride home was horribly quiet. Vastly different from the trip to the rehab facility, where Dean's dad had been pinned between his sons, screaming obscenities at the rearview mirror. They pulled up in front of the apartments and Castiel got out, the Winchesters followed, but were stopped from actually entering the building by Bobby.

Castiel stood by the elevator, watching through the glass doors. The three huddled together a minute and then separated with hugs from the old mechanic bestowed upon both boys.

"Night Bobby," Sam said as the doors closed behind them.

The elevator stopped on four, but only Sam got out, Dean followed Castiel up to his apartment, sinking into his comfy, reclining chair once inside. Castiel didn't have any beer, he did have some scotch that Fergus had left, so he poured Dean a glass of that.

"He's why," Dean said, once he'd taken a few gulps.

"He's why what?" Castiel asked, from the sink where he was filling up the teapot.

"My dad, he's why….everything. What isn't he the root of? Fucking, drugged-up prick!"

He stood up suddenly, smashing his cup against the floor. Castiel jumped at the sound of shattering glass.

"And all because he couldn't handle it!" Dean shouted, spinning around to face him, "He couldn't handle when she left him, left us! So he escaped, used all of our money and some we didn't have and went on his trips. Never mind that Sammy was just a baby, or that we needed him. So long as he got his fucking," Dean's fist flew against the wall, "fucking bags of happy!" He punched the wall again and again, pounding it furiously, leaving a trail of holes.

"Dean!" Castiel flew forward and grabbed his arm, slowing his forward momentum, "Dean stop!"

Dean collapsed in on himself, head hanging against his chest. "He's an asshole," he said softly, "Sam was just a kid."

"Come on," Castiel tugged him to his bedroom, forcing him to sit on the bed, he wet a towel, sponging the blood off his knuckles. The skin was split open, Castiel went into the bathroom and came back with a tube of Neosporin.

"Leave it Cas," Dean almost whispered, trying to pull his arm away, but Castiel held firm.

"No, you're bleeding." He spread Neosporin over the wound, wrapping a bandage around it when he was done.

"I'm sorry," Dean finally lifted his head, a tear was caught on his lower lashes, trembling, threatening to fall.

Emboldened by the last few minutes, Castiel reached forwards and swiped it away. Dean stiffened at his touch.

"It's alright Dean," Castiel reassured him, "it's alright."

And a wall around Dean's heart came crumbling down.

…

They talked long into the night. Dean told him everything, just everything. About his Mom, about raising Sammy. The thefts he'd committed, the cons his father had pulled. Castiel made them both tea and listened, not saying much, what was there to say? He understood, Dean knew he understood.

The dawn light pushed through the curtains, soft shadows played over Dean's face as he talked. They were stretched out on the bed facing each other and their words grew slower and slower, slurring horribly, until neither one of them could keep their eyes open anymore.

…

An explosion of sound sent Castiel jolting awake, it was a rock concert and a civil war cannon, it was a nuclear missile, no, it was a nothing, it had stopped.

Dean was still snoring next to him, literally, snoring, he slept like a little kid, it was kind of cute. Oh, who was Castiel kidding? It was adorable, his friend was open mouthed and loose limbed, one arm thrown behind his back, legs scrunched up by his chest, Castiel looked over at his alarm clock. It chose that moment to go off again, probably for the thirtieth time. He pushed the alarm off button and looked at the time…shit.

"Dean," he rasped, his throat felt like he'd run it across a mile of broken glass. "Dean wake up."

"It's too early Sammy," Dean mumbled, "We'll race bikes later."

Castiel shook his shoulder, bouncing him up and down, "Dean!"

"Wha-?" Dean came to with a groan, untwisting his limbs and sitting up, "Oh," he yawned, "Morning Cas."

"It's 11:23," Castiel told him, he had completely missed rehearsal and they had the concert tomorrow, Naomi was going to kill him.

"Shit," Dean said, swinging his legs to the floor, he bent over to grab his phone. Castiel was awarded a flash of his lower back as his shirt rode up. "Bobby's called nine times."

Castiel checked his own phone, "Three from Balthazar, two from Naomi and six text messages I win," he said grimly.

"I should go," Dean stood, stretching, his shirt riding up even further. Castiel's stomach twisted. "But, I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah," Castiel followed Dean to the door, leaning against the wall as he watched the older man look around for his shoes. The sight of something so ordinary, for some reason, made him brave. "Dean?" he started. Dean turned to look at him, one boot on, one boot off. "Do you want to come to my concert?"

"That's tomorrow right?" Dean asked, tugging on his other shoe.

"Yes," Castiel nodded, Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Castiel beat him to it. Babbling out explanations as his stomach twisted tighter and tighter, "You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought you might like it and you can bring Sam and he can bring Jess, or Bobby and Ellen could come-."

Dean started laughing. "Cas, calm down." He strode across the room, putting both hands on Castiel's shoulders, "I'll be there."

"Really? Great!" The warmth from Dean's hands loosened the tension in his gut. Castiel beamed up at him, Dean laughed again, giving his shoulders a squeeze, before walking towards the door.

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" he said.

Castiel smiled. "See you!"

The second the door closed behind the older man he hugged himself, spinning in a happy circle, exactly like Anna did when she received a Barbie Dream House for her birthday. His phone rang again, it was Naomi and she was indeed pissed, but who cared?

Not Castiel that was for sure.

….

"Hey," Dean strode into the apartment

"I'll call you back Jess," Sam hung up his phone in exasperation. "What the hell man?" he demanded, "Bobby says he's been calling you all morning."

"Yeah, I know, I'll call him back." Dean said, going to the fridge and pulling out a pie tin that Ellen had dropped off the day before.

"That's it? You'll call him back?" Sam had allowed himself to get worked up and now it was spilling out.

"You don't want me to call him back?" Dean asked, with his mouth full.

"I want to know why you didn't come home last night," Sam told him, "I wanted to talk about Dad, to make sure you were okay and you and Cas just vanished. I was worried about you Dean!"

"I'm fine Sam," Dean said, shoveling more pie in his mouth.

"Well maybe I'm not!" Sam said, vehemently. He slumped against the wall, "You can't disappear on me Dean! I need you." His brother put down the pie tin, walking towards him, pulling him into a hug. God, he was a jackass.

"Sorry Sammy," he said, "I wasn't thinking last night. Or, I was, but just about me."

Sam sighed, "I know, you're okay right?"

"I'm okay," Dean pulled away, covering his emotions by diving back into the pie. Sam would have liked to discuss things more but he knew how hard it was for Dean to open up, so he said nothing and made them a couple of sandwiches. Dean would eat only pie all day every day if he let him.

"Oh, by the way, Cas invited us to his concert," Dean said as they were finishing eating. "He said you can bring Jess if you want."

"Really?" Sam looked up, "Are you gonna go?"

"Yeah, why not?" Dean shrugged, carrying his plate to the sink, "Might be fun."

One of the last places Sam could see his brother calling fun would be a symphony orchestra concert. He laughed, rolling his eyes. Dean turned around, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Jess would like that," Sam said, hiding his smirk.

….

"There!" Anna exclaimed, pleased with herself, "You're ready." She and Gabe had come to Castiel's to get ready before the concert, shoving their fancy clothes into their backpacks to not arouse Lucie's suspicion. Anna had insisted on giving Dean a makeover, so that he'd be "pretty" tonight.

Across the room Castiel was helping Gabe with his bowtie, they both started snickering. Dean went into the bathroom and let out a small shriek. Castiel followed, stifling his laughter into his fist.

"I'm a painted whore!" Dean exclaimed. He looked like an eighty-year-old woman headed for a night of Bingo. Bright red blush circles covered his cheeks, clashing horribly with his pink lipstick and blue eyeshadow.

"I don't know I rather like this touch," Castiel chuckled, placing a finger against the orange star sticker next to Dean's eye.

"You hate it?" Anna came into the bathroom looking like she might cry.

"No, not at all," Dean said, crouching down to her level, "I just think it might be a little much for the symphony, this is more of a Vegas, Atlantic City look."

Anna, seeing the wisdom in this nodded. "Good point," she said, "wash it off, we'll wait until you go to Vegas." She skipped away and Dean's smile disappeared. Castiel wet a wash cloth and tried to help him scrub the paint off. He was still laughing.

"Next time I'm sic'ing her on you," Dean threatened, his eyes closed as Castiel removed the blue shadow.

"You think she hasn't done this to me?" Castiel laughed harder, "Picture day, senior year. Senior Homecoming, Senior Prom. I finally had to tell her that all the other girls were jealous of her work and asked me not to be so fabulous anymore." He scraped at the orange star sticker with his thumbnail, but it wasn't coming off.

"Did she superglue this thing on?" he grunted.

"Ow!" Dean exclaimed, eyes fluttering open. His hand covered Castiel's, "Just leave it Cas, it's-." Both of them seemed to realize simultaneously how close they were. Castiel froze, Dean swallowed nosily, Castiel watched his Adams apple bob up and down. "It's not a big deal."

"Are we going to go soon?" Gabe asked, coming into the bathroom. The two adults jumped apart. Castiel recovered himself first.

"Yes," he told his brother, "You two get your coats and we'll leave."

….

"How did you afford this Sam?" Jess laughed, settling into her seat, "These tickets go for $200."

"Dean has an in with the pianist," Sam told her, slinging an arm around the back of her chair.

A few rows over Dean was seated between both of Castiel's siblings. He and the little boy, Gabe…? Were bent over a Gameboy attempting to get Super Mario to the newest level. The lights in the theater dimmed and the curtain shrouding the symphony rose.

"It's starting!" Castiel's little sister said excitedly, the people around her laughed.

The music swelled, Sam could see Castiel, wearing coat tails of all things, sitting at the piano. Dean was rapt with attention; Gabe was on his own with Super Mario. Sam smiled, shaking his head slightly. It might be fun, huh?

Sure it would Dean, sure it would.

….

"You were wonderful Castiel," Jess said, raising her beer in his direction. The rest of the group followed suit, Castiel blushed and smiled.

"Thank you," he mumbled, staring at his lap.

Dean clapped him on the shoulder. "Best piano playing I've ever heard," he told him. Castiel's neck went red with embarrassment.

They had gone to the Roadhouse after the concert. All except Anna and Gabe, who Castiel had dropped back home, with the promise to see them the next day. Bobby had laughed at Dean and Sam in their suits and ties and Castiel in his coat tails, complete with cummerbund and gloves. They were, to memory, some of the best dressed patrons that had ever set foot on the premises.

"Look at my brothers all fancy," Jo cooed, ruffling Sam's hair.

"Jo!" he protested, trying to pull away.

"Don't muss the princess's locks Joanna," Bobby laughed, "she'll have your head cut off." Jess giggled.

"I hate all of you." Sam pouted.

"That's what you get for being so damn pretty Sammy," Dean laughed, he stood up, brushing against Castiel's thigh as he did so. Castiel tried not to shudder with pleasure. "Who needs another?"

Everyone but Castiel raised their hands. "Cas, come help me." Dean said, leading the way to the back, where Ellen kept the specialty beers they were drinking. Castiel trotted after him willingly. Sam smirked at there retreating backs.

"Here hold the door," Dean said, opening the walk in cooler and searching for the correct bottles.

"You really were great tonight," Dean told him after a minute. The cold air felt wonderful on Castiel's flaming face. "I don't know anything about symphonies, but I think it's no wonder yours is world famous."

"Thank you Dean," Castiel said. Dean twisted off the cap of a bottle and handed it to him, opening another for himself.

"To you," Dean said, clinking his beer against Castiel's.

"And to you." Dean still had the star sticker next to his eye, Castiel reached up to try to pull it away. "You've still got-." He trailed off. The sticker fell off in his hand, he laughed, whatever magical bonding Anna had used apparently had an expiration time.

"That was -."

And Dean's mouth crashed down over his.


	8. Foreigner: I Want to Know What Love Is

Dean was not one to deny himself pleasures. There had been so few of them for so many years that whenever one came up it felt like a special gift, just for him. As things got better and he started to realize that life could be enjoyable, not just a constant struggle for survival, he started to seek them out.

He'd let himself have a few hours to work on the Impala while Ellen watched Sam. He'd go see a movie that looked interesting, he'd eat all the pie he wanted. He'd kiss someone he liked.

He liked Cas.

He liked him a lot.

Not only was he an innocent kind of sexy that drove Dean up the wall, he was also good and kind and absolutely fascinating. He viewed a world that shunned and hated him not as this evil place, but as a group of people who were hurting, who needed an extended caring hand.

Dean had never met anyone who loved so unconditionally like that.

And the crazy part was Cas didn't seem to realize how awesome he was. He wasn't gloating, or trying to extract pity from anyone for his circumstances. He wanted nothing from the world except a chance to help it.

Dean liked him all the more for that.

He also didn't know how to tell Cas any of this, because it was a fact he was complete crap with words. Feelings weren't all that easy for him either, especially the romantic kind. He'd only been in two serious relationships total and neither of those had lasted more than six months. Mostly due to Dean being afraid and pushing the other person away with both hands.

So, maybe this was the stupidest thing he had ever done, or at least in the top five.

And maybe it was true that he'd never kissed another man.

But, Dean wasn't one to deny himself pleasures.

He saw an opportunity and dammit, he went for it.

….

Dean kissed like he meant it.

Like his sole mission in life was to kiss Castiel. He pushed him up against the door of the walk-in fridge, one hand cupping his face, thumb ghosting over his cheek.

Castiel couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. Dean's lips were taking his cognitive reasoning ability and flushing it straight down the toilet. Finally, the older man pulled away, breathing hard, his eyes asking the question that Castiel didn't know how to put words to.

There was only one way to answer.

Castiel wrapped Dean's tie around his hand and pulled. Dean stumbled forwards, trapping him between his arms as he caught himself against the door. He huffed a laugh against his mouth, Castiel captured that laugh, twining his tongue around the other man's. Dean's arm snaked around his waist, holding him close.

A melody bloomed in the back of his mind, something slow and sweet, a dance in the moonlight, a reunion of two lost souls, the beginning of a journey.

Dean moved away from his lips, placing feather-light kisses up his jawline, against his eyelids, in the soft hairs at his temple.

"Hey!" Bobby shouted from the other room, "What's taking you two so damn long?"

Dean laughed again, softly, Castiel laughed with him, their foreheads pressed together, both of them swaying on the spot. "Sorry Bobby," Dean called, "We're coming."

….

Sam went home with Jess.

Castiel was both grateful and petrified to be in the Impala alone with Dean. He honestly thought he might throw up, or faint, or in some other way show what a giant pansy he truly was.

Because, this was terrifying.

Wonderful, but terrifying.

How was he supposed to go from here? Or where? God, where was the manual to life when you needed it?! Why had this not been taught in school? He really could have used a class in how to proceed after a cute guy kisses you. That would have been so much more useful than Algebra.

Dean was silent as he maneuvered the icy streets, his face impossible to read. That was another thing, Castiel hadn't even known Dean had, you know, batted for his team. Was this all an experiment to him?

Castiel's hands trembled in his lap, he tried to still their shaking, smoothing them along the leather of the seat, but that did absolutely nothing. He stared out the window, frosty light poles zipping by, warm and callused fingers tangled with his own. He glanced sharply over, Dean smiled, not taking his eyes off the road, he gave Castiel's hand a squeeze. Somehow, this calmed his frantically beating heart, he squeezed back.

They pulled up in front of the building, separating and rejoining at the elevator and rode up to the sixth floor in silence. Outside Castiel's door they stopped, hesitating, unsure what came next.

Castiel knew what he wanted, or at least what his body wanted. It was an undeniable fact that he was warm for Dean's form.

Did people still say that?

Whatever, it was true, he wanted Dean, but he wanted him for more than just that. And he had been down that road before. What if they slept together and suddenly Dean decided that dick, or Castiel, or both were not to his taste after all?

"I think," Dean's voice was soft, Castiel had to lean in to hear him, "I think this is the part where you invite me in."

Castiel heaved a shaky breath, staring down at their joined hands.

"I'm scared," he admitted, "I- I don't want to mess this up." Dean trailed his thumb over Castiel's, shaking his head.

"You think I'm not?" he asked, "Dammit Cas, I don't want to mess this up either." Castiel dared to meet his eyes, he was smiling, open, genuine. Castiel leaned forwards, brushing his lips against his cheek.

"Won't you come in?" he asked.

….

Castiel's couch was not big enough for two people. They tried just sitting and watching TV but one of them was always hanging off the edge. Eventually Dean couldn't take it anymore.

"Come on," he said, grabbing Cas' hand and pulling him towards the darkened bedroom.

"But," Cas blustered, "Dean…" Dean towed him towards the room, "Dean!"

"Cas," They had made it through the doorway, Dean set his hands on his shoulders, "I'm not going to- we don't have to- I just want to lie next to you without almost falling on the floor." Cas laughed a little at that.

"Okay," he whispered.

They sank onto the mattress, legs tangling together, Cas' head resting on Dean's arm. And see, here was the thing.

Normally Dean did not, repeat, did not cuddle.

At least, not until after sex and even then it was very brief. A good game hug if you will.

He was not one of those mushy guys. Mushy came nowhere near to his personality, it saw him, hissed and ran off to hide in the corner.

But…tonight…with Cas….Dean didn't want to be apart from him. He didn't want to say goodnight, he wanted to lie here and stare into his stupidly blue eyes and whisper secrets to each other like he was a frickin sixteen year old girl.

He was really glad they were at Cas' apartment and not his own, if Sam were to come home and see any of this he would never let him hear the end of it.

…

"Good Morning," Sam smirked, when Dean walked into the apartment the next day. He and Bones were standing in the hall, almost like they had been waiting for him.

"Shut up," Dean mumbled, trying to get past him to his room.

"So Jess wants to know if you two would be down for a double date-"

"I said shut up Sammy," Dean said, shoving past him and closing his bedroom door with a loud bang. He flopped backwards onto his bed, closing his eyes.

Cas' just woken up face waited for him, his hair sticking up in the back like the comb of a rooster. They'd talked until they fell asleep again and it had been perfect. Dean smiled in spite of himself, he was already so far down the rabbit hole of romantic crap, next thing you knew he'd be making Cas a mix tape and writing poems about his hands. Though he did have awesome hands, all long fingers and slender wrists, he shook his head. Yeah, he needed a cold shower, like, right that second.

He stood and started rummaging through his drawers for some clean jeans when he happened to look out the window. It was snowing again, the hills outside of town must have at least six feet of the stuff. Bobby used to take Sam and Jo sledding out there when they were kids…

….

"Are we going to the North Pole?" Anna asked, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Are we going to have to fight polar bears?" Gabe wanted to know, "Give me a crossbow I'm a great shot!"

"We're not going to the North Pole," Castiel said, turning around to look both of his siblings in the eye. Anna sighed, Gabe crossed his arms.

"So where are we going then?" he asked, "You've got us bundled up like we're headed to Greenland." It was true, Castiel had been a tad bit, overly enthusiastic with the warm clothes. All three of them wore several layers, under heavy coats, hats, scarves and big puffy mittens.

Dean was just wearing a hat and gloves, with one of Sam's snowboarding parkas. He looked like he belonged in a Red Bull commercial, which was doing weird things to Castiel's insides.

Oblivious to this Dean winked at the kids in the rearview mirror, which made Castiel's stomach flip-flop all the more, "It's a surprise," Dean told them, Castiel smiled at his profile.

"Maybe we're going to Santa's house." Anna whispered to Gabe, "we'll meet Mrs. Claus and she'll give us cookies!" Dean hid his laugh in his fist.

Half an hour or so later they pulled over on the side of the road, the deep snow creeping halfway up the cars doors.

"We're here." Dean said, popping open the trunk, he crunched a path through the drifts and pulled out two new sleds.

"We're going sledding!" Anna screamed, "Like the Pilgrims did?!"

"Sweet," Gabe said approvingly. Castiel helped his brother and sister across the road and over the protective barrier. A long hill stretched out before them, tree's lined either side of it, emptying out into a flat valley about one hundred feet below.

"Whoa," said Gabe.

"This used to be part of a ski hill," Dean told them, "About 30 years ago, before they built the new highway." He handed one of the sleds to Castiel, "You two wait for a minute." He said to the kids, "we'll go first and clear a path."

Clearing a path took a while, and a lot of sweaty hiking back to the top, but finally the sledding hill was ready for action. Anna sat in front of Dean, Gabe in front of Castiel and they pushed off. Gabe screaming with joy as they flew down the run.

"Again, again!" Anna cried when they reached the bottom.

….

Cas' brother and sister were boundless containers of energy, they got tired of riding with the adults and seized a sled for themselves. Sprinting up the hill and sliding back down several times before Dean and Cas made it once. Cas was huffing and puffing each time they made the climb. Dean finally convinced him to take a breather.

"I need to do more cardio," Cas gasped, leaning against the highway barrier, "this is pathetic." Dean slid an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss against the top of his poofball hat.

"We could start jogging," he offered, "like couples do in the movies." Cas grimaced and Dean joined him, "Or we could never bring up that I suggested that again." He said, "ever." Cas laughed, kissing his cold cheek, lips rasping against his stubble.

"Cassie, race us!" Gabe demanded, cresting the hill, Anna having ridden on the sled the entire way up. "You and Dean against me and Anna."

"You think you've got what it takes little man?" Dean asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Gabe. The boy scoffed, putting both mittened hands on his hips.

"I've got enough to beat you," he countered. Cas helped his brother back onto the sled.

"No cheating," he warned.

"Don't worry Cassie," the little boy said, holding the sleds rope tight. "I'm gonna beat you guys fair and square."

Dean settled onto the other sled and patted the space between his legs for Cas. The younger man cuddled against him, knees brushing his own.

"Ready Grandpa?" Gabriel asked.

"Gabe," Cas scolded.

"Ready," Dean said.

"On your marks, get set, go!" Anna screamed and away they went, Cas clutched Dean's thighs as they picked up speed, his hat flew off with the force of the wind, smacking Dean in the face, blinding him. Dean shook the hat off, the sled was heading straight for a tree! He swerved at the last second and they went zipping down the hill, sliding past Anna and Gabe at the bottom, speeding across the flat before finally coasting to a stop. Cas giggled.

"We beat you!" Gabe shouted across the distance between them.

"We almost crashed," Dean shouted back, "We get a do over!"

"Fine, best two out of three!" Gabe was already heading for the top. Dean was up like a shot dragging the sled after him, Cas laughing as he towed him along.

….

They sledded until the sun started to set. Then Castiel forced Anna and Gabe into the car. Dean turned the heater on full blast, fogging up all the glass but the windshield. As he thawed Castiel felt his eyes starting to droop. His legs ached with the amount of exercise he'd given them, but the smile on his face would not subside.

"What do we say to Dean?" He asked his siblings.

"Thank you Dean," Gabe and Anna chorused. Dean blushed for some reason.

"You guys have fun?" he asked.

"I kicked your butt Dean," Gabe told him, crossing his arms smugly.

"That first one didn't count," Dean insisted, "I got attacked by Cas' hat."

"We still beat you the next four races," Gabe said, "Face it. Anna and I are faster than you two."

"We'll go again and have a rematch kiddo," Dean turned around briefly to grin at him, "Then we'll see who's faster."

"Castiel, can we stay at your house tonight?" Anna asked.

"Yeah Cassie can we?" Gabe stopped gloating long enough to ask.

"Oh," Castiel thought about how they could pull this off. It was Saturday, he realized, Gabe and Anna could tell Lucie they were staying at the friend's house that they had supposedly been at all day, "Sure I guess that's okay."

"Woohoo!" Gabe cheered.

An hour and a half later found them in the middle of not Castiel's, but Dean's living room, building a fort out of sheets and couch cushions. Sam was helping, all the while making stupid faces at his brother. Anna had re-discovered Bone's and was brushing his golden fur, getting it all over the rug.

"I wanna sleep under the Christmas tree," she told Castiel, "it's pretty." Dean beamed at her.

They ate a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and microwave popcorn, made by Sam and then settled into the fort to watch scary movies. They were old things and the three adults laughed at the corniness but Anna cuddled close to Dean and Gabe's eyes were as wide as saucers. Castiel leaned up against Dean's other side. He wanted to stay awake, to thank Dean for the wonderful day, or just talk him some more, but he was so tired and this fort was so comfy. His eyelashes were made of glue, the colors of the Christmas tree where blurring together and eventually he lost the fight, slipping into warm sleep.

….

The Novak children were passed out, Cas included. Dean wiggled out from under him and Anna head's which were both resting on his thighs and crawled out of the fort. Passing Gabe, who was spread eagle, snoring softly, a bubble of drool growing and shrinking in his open mouth, Sam was cleaning the dinner dishes in the kitchen.

"Hey," he grunted, grabbing himself a beer, "I'll do those if you want."

"Nah, I'm good," Sam grinned at him, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Dean rolled his eyes, slamming himself down into a chair.

"Will you knock that off?" he fumed, "Dammit Sammy, what are you twelve?"

"Sorry," Sam laughed, taking his hands out of the soapy water, "I've just never seen you like this. You're acting like me right after I met Jess."

"Am not." Dean objected.

"Uh, are too." Sam maintained. "You keep staring at Cas like he's some of Ellen's pie or a burger and you haven't eaten in a week."

"Whatever," Dean hurriedly finished his beer, "You're nuts. I'm going to bed." He left his empty bottle on the table and headed for the hall.

"Love is in the air," Sam sang after him. Dean slammed his door in response and Sam laughed when a minute later Cas stumbled past the kitchen on his way to Dean's room, the loud thump obviously having woken him up.


	9. The Partridge Family: I Think I Love You

You are my sunshine," Mary sang, "my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray."

Dean loved when his Mama sang to him. He knew he was too old too, almost nine, but he did. Mary had the sweetest voice and when she sang he could feel her love, like it was a wave, washing over him again and again. He'd cuddle close and know that no matter what happened that would never change.

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you… Oh please don't take, my sunshine away…"

Dean's eyes fluttered open.

He was thirty-one. His mother had left them eighteen years ago. It was dark, he was in his own bed, in the apartment he shared with Sam…

And he was not alone.

An arm was thrown across his bare chest, someone was breathing against his neck, he glanced down at the mystery-cuddler and found himself smiling.

Cas.

He must have woken up after Dean left the fort and crawled into bed with him.

The pianists long fingers were curled loosely against his cheek, Dean pressed his lips to his palm, then his wrist. The bone stuck out so sharply, like the joint of a bird.

"Dean," Cas sighed, curling closer.

"Hey," Dean wrapped himself around the smaller man, resting his mouth against his hairline, "Sorry. Did I wake you up? Go back to sleep."

"'Kay," Cas murmured. Dean watched him breathe for a minute.

What are you doing Dean? He asked himself.

I wish I knew, he thought back, because it was true, he was charging down this road pretty much blindly, with no answers to any of the questions that might be thrown at him.

Was he Bi now? How long had he known he liked guys?

Cas snuffled in his sleep and Dean found himself smiling again and pulling Cas a little tighter against him.

He'd figure it out. If there was one thing he was good at it was rolling with the punches.

"…You make me happy, when skies are gray."

…

Sam slid the chocolate syrup bottle across the table and Gabe snatched it, dousing his French toast in sticky, brown goo.

"Thanks Sam," he said, throwing a handful of mini-marshmallows onto his plate. Anna laughed at Sam's horrified face.

"Father says he has an addiction," she told him.

"I'll die of diabetes at thirty, but I'll go smiling." Gabe said, around a mouthful of breakfast.

"Gabe, at least drink some milk," Cas chided, coming into the kitchen. Dean followed, a new bruise showing on his collarbone before he shifted his shirt to hide it.

"Castiel, Sam made French toast!" Anna exclaimed, thrusting a piece of it in the air speared at the end of her fork. Melted butter trickled down her arm. Sam looking long suffering caught the drip with a napkin.

"Thanks Sammy," Dean said, sliding into his seat and helping himself to four, no five slices. Cas sat next to him, cheeks suspiciously red. Beard burn, Sam realized, after staring for a moment.

Dean saw him looking and smirked, proud of himself for some reason. Sam rolled his eyes, but when they settled back into focus he saw Dean shift his gaze to Cas, who had his head bent over his breakfast plate. Sam's breath caught in his throat.

God…

Well that was a look he hadn't seen on his brothers face in a while.

…

Cas better not break Dean's heart.

…

"Can we sleepover at Dean's again soon," Gabe asked.

"That's up to Dean," Castiel said at the same time Dean said, "Sure thing kiddo." Castiel rounded the corner, bringing the family manor into view.

"Oh no -." He cut himself off.

"Why are there firemen outside our house?" Anna asked worriedly.

"I don't know." Castiel told her, for not only were there firemen, but police men and what looked like his father's car. He could see his father actually, standing next to one of the trucks talking to an officer. Lucie sat on a squad cars front bumper, her face buried in her hands, rocking back and forth.

"Gabe," Castiel said, "is your cell phone on?" Gabe pulled out the device and shook his head, powering it back up.

"I have six missed calls," he said, looking up to meet Castiel's eyes. Castiel didn't have to ask who they were from.

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"That's a bad word," Anna told him. "Prince's shouldn't use language like that." Castiel's father had spotted his car, he was coming towards them, his face like thunder.

"Anna, Gabe," Castiel said to his siblings, "You better get out of the car." The younger Novak's obeyed and Castiel followed. Lucie came rushing over, spouting a steady stream of German as she was wont to do when upset. She gathered up Gabe and Anna into a hug.

"Oh. Oh my liebling's," she said, when she'd calmed down enough to speak English again, "You scared your Lucie so." She kissed both of their cheeks again and again.

"Castiel!" Castiel's father barked. Castiel could feel himself growing small, shrinking back into the thirteen-year-old he'd been when he first realized he was different.

"You took my children!" his father shouted, stepping in front of Anna and Gabe. Lucie tried to herd them away, but Gabe grabbed Anna's hand and stood firm. "What were you thinking?!"

"Father-." Castiel started.

"You know you are no longer welcome in this house!" his father continued, "So you took the children away from it? What, were you trying to find a loop-hole? I do not find this at all funny Castiel!"

"But Father-," Gabe pulled Anna forward, "Please! It was my idea! I asked Cassie to-."

"This does not concern you Gabriel," his father ground out between gritted teeth, "I will deal with you and Anna later, go inside with Lucie."

"Please Father-."

"Go Gabe," Castiel said, not looking away from his father's beet red face, "Listen to Father." Anna started crying as Lucie hustled her away, Gabe kept looking back over his shoulder, small body taunt with worry. The door shut tight behind them.

"Father, I can explain." Castiel tried again.

"I'm not interested in your excuses," his father spat. Castiel's voice died in his throat, everything seemed to grow quiet as his father leaned in to whisper his next sentence.

"I never want to see you around my children ever again," he growled. The tears were welling up behind the dam in Castiel's throat, he swallowed, begging them to stay at bay. "You're lucky I won't be pressing charges against you, but come near them again and I won't hesitate to make that call. Your depravity is neither natural nor moral, I will not have you influencing them with it." Castiel hung his head, ready to give up, to shuffle back to his car without saying a word when Dean's voice lashed out.

"You unimaginable bastard," both Castiel and his father whirled around to face the mechanic. Who stood just behind Castiel, face tight, arms crossed, "Last I checked, Cas here, was your son too. Did that just slip your mind? Are you seriously so wrapped in your own bullshit life that you don't see how much those kids love him?"

"I don't know who you are," Castiel's father glared, "but this is a family matter. I would thank you to stay out of it."

Dean paused, mouth part ways open. Castiel waited for him to out himself, to say, I'm his boyfriend, but Dean didn't, he just stood there looking frozen. His father sneered and started to turn back around.

"Who I am doesn't matter," Castiel's heart sank, Dean moved so he was blocking the way. "Cas is my friend and you -."

"I don't have time for this," Castiel's father interrupted, shoving past him. Dean's arms fell to his side, fists clenched. A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"Dean-." Castiel begged quietly, "Don't-." He put a hand up on Dean's chest, like he could physically stop him from starting something, Dean grabbed his hand and held it tight in his own. Castiel started to go, to walk back towards the car, but Dean's voice lashed out again. Wrapping like a rope around his father, pulling him back.

"What, are you afraid of me calling you out on your shit?" Dean asked. His father turned, his glare would have melted the polar ice caps.

"How dare you treat Cas like a criminal!" Dean said, glaring just as ferociously, staring directly into his father's eyes, proving he wasn't afraid. "He's been more of a dad to those kids than you ever have!"

Castiel froze, grimacing, it may have been true, but that didn't mean Dean should have said it. Nothing else said now would register, his father's heart was freezing over as he watched. He reeled back slightly like he'd been struck, his gaze hardened.

"Get out of here Castiel," he snarled, "take your partner in sin with you!"

The dam in his throat threatening to break, Castiel dragged Dean down the sidewalk and forced him into the car, the tires screeched as they pulled away. His father watched until they disappeared from sight.

"Damn," Dean ranted, "What an ass. Are you sure you're really related to that guy?"

Castiel didn't reply but apparently Dean didn't require one because he kept right on talking.

"Don't you listen to anything he says Cas, there is nothing the matter with you."

Castiel still couldn't say anything, he focused on the road, it was icy out today.

"Cas?" Dean leaned towards him, "You okay."

"What are am I to you Dean?" Castiel asked. Snapped would actually be a better term.

Dean pulled back, arching his eyebrows, "What do you mean?" he looked lost, Castiel couldn't really blame him. If you weren't inside his head that had to have seemed like it came out of nowhere.

"What am I to you? Am I your experimental phase?"

"No!" Dean was looking less confused by the second, "I mean, yeah, you're the first guy I've been with… but you're not a phase."

"Well, what am I then?" Castiel asked him, "Your boyfriend? Your friend with benefits? What?"

"Where the hell is this coming from Cas," Dean's face was hardly confused at all now, mostly it looked pissed, "What the fuck does it have to do with what just happened?"

"My father said he didn't know who you were and you called yourself my friend. Is that all we are?" Castiel was choking up, the road growing blurry through his tears. "Because I've got to say I don't usually make out with my friends-."

"Look out!" Dean shouted, a sharp horn blast cut through the air like a knife as they slid through a red light, Castiel screamed and jerked the wheel, they hit a patch of ice and went spinning over the rumble strip onto the side of the road. Castiel slammed on the brakes, the car shuddered to a stop.

Quiet fell.

They'd spun around backwards. No one in the intersection seemed to be hurt, at least cars were still moving through it. No wrecks could be seen. Castiel heaved out a shaky breath.

"You okay?" Dean asked for the second time in as many minutes.

Castiel pressed his forehead against the steering wheel, heart hammering against his ribs. He wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't. Dean seemed to realize the same thing. He opened his door, coming around the car to the driver's side.

"Here, I'll get us home," he said. Castiel obligingly scooted over and Dean took the wheel in both hands, but didn't put the car into drive. They sat in silence, Castiel staring at the intersection that had almost been their grave.

"I don't know," Dean said after a minute. Castiel met his eyes.

"I don't know what to call myself," Dean went on. "I've never done this before Cas, not…ever really. I'm not good at feelings and figuring out where we stand." He squeezed the steering wheel, "I'm a, 'do what feels good', kind of person and this, whatever we are, feels good, it feels…right." He turned fully to face him, .

"I know I wanna be with you Cas, I just don't know how to go forward doing it." He shrugged, embarrassed, "This is all new to me."

Castiel swallowed, hard.

He reached across the distance between them and pulled Dean into him, burying his face in his neck as the dam in his throat broke open.

He wanted to believe him, he did, but Fergus had said something along the same lines and look how that had turned out. Dean trailed a hand up and down his back, letting him cry.

Ugh, he was too emotional to figure this out right now. This on top of his family stuff and…he wanted to believe him…he did, but there was a dark voice in his ear whispering that Dean was just another sweet-tongued-devil.

If it was right…?

….

The ride home had been markedly silent.

After Cas had stopped crying, Dean had tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to. Not about what had happened with his father, or about Anna and Gabe and Dean guessed he'd sort of said all there was to say about their relationship…

At least he hoped Cas had gotten the message. He hadn't asked any more questions.

Dean wanted to be with him but, he was emotionally constipated…baby steps?... Cas hadn't said anything when Dean had left him at his door, just kissed him goodbye and went inside. Dean sighed and rubbed the spot between his eyebrows, all these chick flick moments were giving him a headache. He pushed open the door to Bobby's office and let the smell of diesel and bourbon soothe his frazzled nerves.

"What happened to you?" Bobby asked, tilting back his baseball cap, "You look like shit."

"Robert Singer!" Ellen slid off the edge of his desk where she'd been perched and padded towards Dean, "Can't you see the boy's had a hard morning?" She cupped Dean's face, eyes full of motherly concern.

"That's why I'm asking what happened!"

"I'm fine Ellen," Dean said, pulling away. Ellen raised her eyebrows, not convinced.

"Uh-huh," she said, putting her hands on her hips. She pursed her lips thinking for a moment and then turned to Bobby.

"Out," she said. Bobby looked affronted.

"You can't kick me out, it's my office!"

Ellen scoffed, "Oh can't I." she pulled him up by one arm and shoved him lightly towards the door. "Go on, go get some coffee or something."

"Ellen-." Bobby protested before his wife slammed his door in his face, he glowered at her through the glass, but she wasn't paying attention, she turned back to Dean.

"Alright honey spill."

"Spill what," Dean sat in one of the office chairs trying to play it cool.

"You know what," Ellen sat opposite of him and stared him down. Dean sighed again.

"There was this thing with Cas," he started and next thing he knew the whole story came pouring out. Another thing he wasn't good at was asking for help, but as he was speaking he realized how much he wanted Ellen's. When he finished he sat there staring at her hopefully, she just shook her head.

"You and Bobby, dense as a box of rocks, the two of you." Dean frowned and she laughed.

"You can't really do anything about the family stuff, that is between him and his father." Dean opened his mouth to say something, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I know you want to fix it, but you can't. However, as far as the relationship stuff goes it's one thing to tell Cas you care and you want him Dean, but those are just pretty words. You have to show him."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Show him how."

Ellen rolled her eyes. "Take him to dinner, hold his hand in public, kiss him in front of his father…show him."

"So I should ask him on a date?" Ellen nodded.

"Maybe several, don't let your words just be pretty, reinforce them with your actions." Something clicked in Dean's brain. Shit, Ellen was right, he was dense as a box of rocks.

"I've got to go," he said

…

"Dean?" Castiel asked, confused. He was wearing sweatpants and a stained t-shirt, before Dean had knocked his frantic piano music had been pulsing deliciously against the walls. Castiel swung the door open a little wider, to let him in, but Dean stayed in the doorway.

"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked in a rush. Castiel blinked at him.

"What?"

"A date," Dean scuffed his foot against the door jamb. "Will you go on one with me tonight?"

"Um…" Castiel managed, "Sure?" Dean's whole face lit up.

"Sweet, does seven sound good?" Castiel nodded and Dean pecked him on the cheek, before leaving with a, "see you then." Castiel shut the door and went back to his piano, but flipped the cover shut after two plinking notes.

Huh…

Would you look at that….

Action…


	10. Author's Note

My dearest readers,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I've been MIA for over a month and you have all probably given up hope of me ever finishing this. Well keep that candle burning my lovelies, I will finish, (I will,) eventually.

My life is always kind of hectic and my stories have a tendency to suffer because of that, but I haven't forgotten Dean or dear, sweet Cas and I will be back, (hopefully sooner rather than later,) to drive them, singing along to AC/DC, off into the sunset.

Until then, this is just a note to thank you all for reading, you all truly are wonderful, and to wish you all a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a glorious Kwanza and a winter solstice that will knock your socks off.

We are halfway out of the dark my darlings, see you on the other side.

To The Sky


	11. Martina McBride: I Love You

_Authors Note: My Lovelies! I have returned! I hope you all haven't decided that Once Upon a December is no longer worth your time, because that would sadden me greatly. I've got everything all figured out, down to the end and I can't wait to share the rest of this story with you. Sorry again for the long wait. Love you guys._

 _.Sky_

Dean had only been on a handful of dates in his entire life and usually they had one purpose to them, which was not to get to know the other person better if you caught his drift.

They had all taken place at a bar, or some place similar and he would have drank way past the legal driving limit about twenty minutes in. He'd wake up the next morning, with a pounding head, not remembering how he got there, or sometimes, (most of the time,) who the girl next to him was. Then he'd make futile promises he had no intention of keeping before leaving and never calling again.

This time was not going to be like that.

He actually wanted this date to lead into a second and a third and eventually to that part in chick flicks where he and Cas would cuddle all day in bed watching Netflix.

The only problem was he knew jack shit about romance/dating/not screwing things up.

T-minus three hours till date time found him hunched over his computer frantically Googling ideas.

"Did I ask for porn?! I know usually I am but this is not the time!" Dean screamed at the machine. He clicked the back button and must have scrolled over something, because an automatic ad window popped up. Several animated Asian women moaned at him in unison.

"Son of a Bitch!" Dean slammed the screen shut and shoved the device away from him. That was it, he was fucked…and not in the good way.

"Dude," Sam said from the doorway. Dean looked up, his little brother was leaning against the door frame staring at him.

"It was the computer Sammy," Dean griped, "It started …it." He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He felt Sam crouch down next to him, heard the laptop lid click back open.

"Don't-." he warned too late.

"Oooooh yes!" one of the animated Asian women screamed. Sam shut the computer again hastily.

"I hesitate to ask." He said. Dean huffed out an aggravated breath.

"I'm trying to take Cas on a date," he mumbled. Sam raised an eyebrow. Dean groaned and hid his face back in his hands, after a minute Sam laughed, he pulled out his phone and started furiously texting.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"Helping you, jerk." Sam said. He stood up and grabbing Dean by the back of his jacket hauled him to his feet. "Now come on." He strode down the hall towards Deans room and flung open his closet door.

"Do you own anything that you didn't buy at Army Surplus?"

…

6:58 PM found Dean, standing outside Cas' door wearing an outfit Sam had picked out.

Which hadn't been embarrassing at all.

He scratched the back of his neck and sighed. He wasn't good at any of this shit, what was he doing here?

Oh right, actions speak louder than words and all that…

"Nut up Dean," he thought to himself, "Come on, be a man."

Heaving a deep breath he made himself stand up straight and rap on the door.

Cas must have been standing right on the other side, because it swung open almost immediately.

"Hello Dean," the pianist said, smiling shyly. Dean cleared his throat, trying to not let how edgy he was actually show.

"Hey Cas," he managed, swinging his arms back and forth to dispel his nervous energy, then he realized how dumb he must look and stopped.

"So," Cas said finally, after Dean had been standing there for what must have been an entire minute, "should we go? Or…?" Dean shook his head.

"Right sorry," he held out his hand, which Cas took, "let's go."

….

Sam's girlfriend was the best. Truly the best, at their wedding Dean was going to remain sober until after he'd given his toast just because he liked her so much.

Using her fathers connections she had gotten Dean last minute box seats to the final performance of the Nutcracker downtown. He and Cas were currently suspended over the heads of two thousand people watching four boys in tights leap about the stage. Cas' eyes were huge and glittering, he hummed along to every song. Honestly, Dean thought ballets were complete crap, but if Cas was as happy as he looked that was all that mattered.

"How'd you know I love the Nutcracker?" he'd asked when they'd pulled the Impala into the valet parking.

"Gabe told me," Dean had smiled, his palms instantly going sweaty. If these monkeys in windbreakers put one scratch on his baby….

Cas' face had fell a little bit "Yeah I used to take him and Anna," he'd smiled sadly, "it was our favorite." He'd shook his head and his smile had lit back up, he'd leaned across the seat and planted a kiss on Deans cheek. "Thanks."

"The Rat King," Cas gasped, bringing Dean back to the present. Dean leaned forwards to better see the man dressed as a crowned rat threaten the main characters.

"How does he dance with that thing on his head?" he whispered. Cas giggled.

"I don't know," he whispered back, "I'd fall over." He rested his head against Deans shoulder, heaving what Dean hoped was a happy sigh. Deans heart flip-flopped, he ghosted his thumb over Cas' knuckles.

"It sure is beautiful though," Cas said, Dean smiled, the cheesiest line in the universe floating through his mind.

"Yes, you are." He watched the stage lights dance in Cas' blue eyes, cheesy it may be, but that didn't make it any less true.

…...

After the show they decided to walk to a restaurant by the water, Castiel shrieking as Dean found a long stretch of ice and sent them sliding down it. He stumbled and would have fallen but for Dean catching him at the last second. They laughed into each others faces, cheeks red from the cold. Time seemed to slow, honey dripping from the comb. Castiel leaned…

"I really like you," Dean said, between kisses. Castiel paused, looking up at him through his eyelashes. Deans whole face was red now, "I just thought you should know." Castiel smiled, leaning back in.

"I know," he whispered, "I really like you too."

Eventually a car honked, breaking them out of their kiss-drunk stupor. They started walking again.

"Someday I want to play for a ballet company," Castiel said, slipping his arm through Deans as they strolled. "and travel all over the world doing shows."

"Doesn't your symphony already travel all over the world?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head.

"We're famous all over the world and sometimes we go to London or Australia but that's about it." He said, "I want to go everywhere, especially to Iceland."

"What's in Iceland?" Dean laughed.

Castiel blushed self-consciously, "well there aren't a lot of people," he explained, "so when something like a ballet or an opera comes most of the population sees it at least once."

"Plus," he added, blush deepening, "it's gorgeous there and they have these igloos made of glass that you can stay in and look up at the Northern lights all night long."

"That sounds nice," Dean agreed. They'd reached the sidewalks end and the railing that separated them from the bay. Dean leaned against the freezing metal. "I'd like to see that."

"You can come with me," Castiel nodded, like the statement had been a question, which Dean guessed it kind of had, "igloos are better when you have someone to cuddle with."

Dean had to laugh at that, laugh and pull Castiel against him. Wrap him up in his arms, pressing a kiss against the top of his head.

"Yeah…" he said, eloquent as always. His lips found Castiels and he sighed in contentment, "Yeah," he murmured against their warmth.

….

"He wants you to come with him to Iceland?" Jo said incredulously, both of her eyebrows went skyward. "Clingy much?"

"Joanna!" Ellen scolded, "Stop that." She patted Deans hand, "I think it's very sweet baby." Jo rolled her eyes and started stacking glasses a little harder than was necessary. Ellen ignored her.

"Where are you taking him tonight?" she asked.

"I have a few ideas," Dean grinned. Jo scoffed.

"Iceland," she grumbled, "Like you'll even be together when he goes there."

"Joanna!" her mother scolded again.

"What?!" Jo whined, "Mom, you know it's true. Dean hasn't ever committed to any romantic relationship except the one he has with his car."

Ellen puffed up with anger, but Dean wasn't fazed. He knew better then to take Jo's little barbs seriously. It was just her way of expressing concern about something. Ellen suggested Jo watch her smart mouth, Jo told her where she could store her suggestion and they started going at it. Dean took that as his cue to leave. As he was slipping out the door Jo shouted after him.

"You'll see I was right! You guys aren't going to last a week!"

….

But they did.

That night Dean took Cas to a shooting range. He was surprisingly…good, especially for a man who claimed to have never held a gun before. The next night they set out to go skiing, Cas promised to teach Dean, but wound up lost on some mountain back road, making out until the windows were completely fogged over.

They hit the cuddling-Netflix-level twelve days later. Cas had had a very long day at rehearsal, they were gearing up for another concert, and didn't feel like going anywhere. So Dean ordered a pizza and they lay together on his couch watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

Cas fell asleep halfway through season five and Dean sent Jo a picture of them, with Cas sleeping against his chest.

"It's been two weeks," he texted, "and look Jo, #relationshipgoals."

She sent him back a middle finger and Dean laughed so hard that he woke up Cas.

"What time is it?" the pianist yawned.

"Eleven-twenty-three." Dean replied, stroking his hair.

"Oh," Cas sat up, blinking sleepily. "I better go to bed. I've got to be at the hall tomorrow by seven."

Dean frowned, "Why are you starting so early?"

Cas sighed, "Naomi says that we need the extra time to absorb the music as we are all completely thick." Dean laughed, shifting so they weren't so tangled together anymore.

"She's a piece of work that Naomi." Cas nodded, kissing him swiftly.

"See you tomorrow." He said, heading for the door.

"You can sleep here." Dean called after him. Cas stopped mid step and came back to him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"We won't sleep," he reminded him. Dean chuckled. They spent most of every night making out. Kissing Cas wasn't like kissing anyone else he'd ever been with. It was like discovering kissing all over again, like finding the long lost, perfectly matching, puzzle piece to yours and fitting them back together again and again and again.

"Sure we will," Dean rested his forehead against Cas', "…Eventually." Cas phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled away to examine the message, his face falling as he read it.

"What?" Dean asked worriedly, "what's wrong?"

Cas sat back down on the couch. "It's from Anna," he said glumly, "she wants to know if I'm coming to her play tomorrow." Dean sat down next to him.

"There's no way to go? What if we hid in the back? Your Dad probably wouldn't see us." Cas shook his head.

"Even if he didn't someone would tell him," he sighed, burying his face in his hands, slowly pulling them down so that the pink inside of his lower eyelids showed. He sighed again and started typing in a message. Once finished he stood up and started making his way down the hall.

"We really do have to sleep," he called over his shoulder.

Dean held him close that night, mind way too wound up to let him drift off.

He wished he could fix all of Cas' problems.

Several different plans jumped through his head. Most of them were bloody, a couple were also illegal and Dean knew that Cas wouldn't approve of any of them.

Several more thoughtful hours passed until finally Deans exhausted brain sprang forth one last jem.

Here was an idea…it was kind of crazy but, to quote one of his favorite movies as a kid.

"So crazy it just might work."

….

Dean strutted into the rehearsal hall the next morning like he had every right to be there, which he did, technically, even if Naomi didn't agree. The conductor stopped mid-baton-swing, the symphony fading to a stop as she lowered her arms.

"Excuse me who are you?" she shouted across the room as he approached the orchestra pit.

"Dean Winchester," he said, walking up and holding out a hand for her to shake, "I was told I could find Castiel Novak here." Cas for his part was staring at him with his mouth open. Besides him Balthazar saluted him with his drumsticks.

Naomi ignored his hand, Dean let his arm drop. "What do you want with Castiel?" she asked.

"There has been an emergency Ma'am," Dean said, doing his best not to burst into laughter at the sight of her increasingly enraged expression. "I'm here to take him to his family."

"A family emergency!" Cas was on his feet in an instant, "What happened? Is it Anna? Gabe? My Father?" he gathered up his stuff and started backing towards the door. "I'm sorry Naomi, I've got to go!" Dean gave Naomi a respectful nod, (she looked like her heart was going to pop at any second), and headed after Cas. Balthazar waved.

Cas was waiting for him by the front doors. "What happened Dean?" his eyes were bright, "who is it?"

Dean put his hands on his shoulders laughing a little, "Calm down Cas, there is no emergency, okay?" he said. Cas took several shuddering breaths.

"But…You said…?" he managed to get out. Dean grinned down at him.

"I had to say something to get you away from there. We've got somewhere to be."

"What?" Cas let Dean pull him towards the Impala but his steps dragged. "What do you mean? We don't have anywhere to be?"

Dean laughed again, opening the passenger door and giving Cas a little shove inside.

"Quit asking questions, you'll ruin the surprise."

Fifteen minutes later they pulled up in front of Lambs Elementary. Cas started squirming.

"Dean," he whined, "I'm not supposed to be here." Dean took his chin in his hand, kissing him on the forehead.

"Hey," he said, looking directly into his eyes, "trust me?"

Cas let out a long, slow breath, "…okay." Dean grinned and hopped out of the car.

After a trip to the office to get signed in and receive name badges, the two men trooped down the breezeway to the cafeteria which doubled as the gymnasium, a stage at the far end made it triple as a theater. The interior stank like sweat, chocolate milk and doughy cafeteria pizza. Squeals and squeaky voices penetrated the air.

"Alright, alright, places everyone." Someone was saying, "lets have a good rehearsal so we can do a good job for your parents to-."

"CASTIEL!" Anna shrieked and flew across the room to hug her older brother. Cas scooped her up and gave her a giant bear hug.

"Hey Anna-banana," he said. Anna spotted Dean and wriggled free so she could hug him too.

"DEAN!" She latched onto his legs, "I missed you!"

The teacher walked over, brow furrowed, "I take it you three know each other."

"Hi," Dean said, holding out his hand, the teacher shook it tentatively "Dean Winchester. This is Castiel Novak."

"Castiel is my brother!" Anna announced as the teacher shook Cas' hand in turn. The confused look melted off the teachers face.

"Oh," she said, clearly relived.

"Cas and I were so upset we were going to miss Annas play tonight." Dean went on, "We were wondering if it would be alright for us to see the rehearsal?"

The teacher was obviously charmed by Dean, she smiled a little and smoothed her skirt.

"Well," she said, blushing. "I don't see why not." She waved them towards the side of the gym. "Why don't you stand over there until we're ready to start." Dean thanked her profusely and he and Cas obediently started over to the wall Anna in their wake.

The teacher called the little girl back over and got things under way. Eventually two folding chairs were set up for Cas and Dean and the lights were set to dim. In the safety of the dark Cas squeezed Deans hand.

"Thank you," he whispered, tears evident on his face, even in the dimness.


	12. All I Want for Christmas is You

_The tumulent sky reflected Deans mood. The skyscraper loomed before him and he felt his guts twist just a little bit tighter._

 _It was Christmas Eve and the last minute shoppers hurried past him, heads bent low against the wind that whipped through the city streets. Dean craned his neck to look at the windows of the top floor, then taking a deep breath pushed open the door and stepped across the threshold._

"Saaaam…" Dean poked his brother in the cheek, "Sammy, wake up." Sam groaned and flopped an arm over his head.

"What time is it?" he mumbled.

"It's 12:01," Dean giggled, "Merry Christmas!"

"Seriously?" Sam sat up, looked at the clock and then flung his pillow in Deans direction. "What the fuck dude? We went to bed an hour ago." he threw himself back against the mattress. "Go away."

Dean laughed and gave him a shove, sending him tumbling out of bed. Sam jumped to his feet with a roar and grabbing the nearest weapon at hand, the alarm clock, he gave chase.

"Dean!" he shouted, thundering down the hall, "Get back here so I can kill you!" he skidded to a stop before he crashed into the front door and turned searching fruitlessly for his prey. "Dean?!"

Softly playing Christmas music echoed from the living room, still holding the alarm clock high Sam tip toed towards the noise.

"Merry Christmas Sam!" Jess, Dean and Cas all shouted. Sam let his arm fall, gazing in wonder at the sight before him. The tree was lit, brightly colored presents formed a blocky moat underneath it. The stockings on the wall were filled with treasures that spilled over the tops. Jess rushed forwards to plant a kiss against his cheek, she was wearing a lopsided Santa hat, she shoved a similar one down around his ears.

"I told Dean not to wake you up like that," Cas said, smiling apologetically. Dean just laughed again.

"And what would be the fun in waking him up nicely?" he asked his boyfriend, "No fun at all, that's what. Cas rolled his eyes.

"Merry Christmas sweetie," Jess handed him a stocking, it had a post it note stuck to it bearing his name. Sam grinned, literally from ear to ear.

 _"_ _Sir, there is a Mr. Winchester here to see you." The secretary flashed Dean another fake smile. He gave her one back. They'd been doing this for the last ten minutes, his cheeks were starting to hurt from all the insincerity._

 _"_ _Send him in," the gruff voice barked over the intercom. Dean stood without waiting to be told and threw open the office doors. Cas' dad sat behind a huge desk, fingers steepled together. His eyebrows raised when he saw Dean._

 _"_ _Ah, you again." He said, frown deepening. "I'd ask what I owe the pleasure to, but, well I think we both know that would be a lie." Dean walked around the desk, Cas' dad stood up as he approached, Dean felt weirdly smug to note that he was taller than him._

 _"_ _I came for Cas," Dean said, resisting the urge to cross his arms, or throw a few curses at the man before him. No aggression, he reminded himself, not even perceived aggression. He needed to play nice if he wanted to get anything out of him. "He'll never ask you so I'm doing it."_

 _"_ _And what is it that Castiel wants so badly but will never ask me for?" Mr. Novak sneered._

"Here, this one is from me." Castiel blushed as he handed Dean the brightly, wrapped box. Dean tore into the wrapping paper.

"Oh-ho yes!" he exclaimed, shaking out the Star Trek command shirt. Sam shook his head as Dean immediately stripped off the shirt he was wearing and pulled the new one on. Castiel's cheeks grew redder.

"You like it?" he asked. Dean kissed him, deeply, making Sam gag into his eggnog. Jess giggled.

"I love it." Dean said, admiring his commanders pin. "I always wanted one of these." Sam snorted.

"And I kept him from getting one for so many years," he glared at Castiel over the rim of his glass. "Thanks dude." Jess pointed her phone at them for approximately the millionth time in the last two minutes.

"Smile," she insisted, Dean slung his arm around Castiel's shoulders, beaming. Castiel snuggled against him and let Jess capture her moment.

They worked their way through the gifts. Castiel couldn't help but notice that Dean didn't have a present for him. Not that it really mattered, but... He shook his head ever so slightly. Watching Sam freak out over the new laptop Jess had gotten him. He was being selfish, maybe Dean just hadn't known what to get him, and then Sam fired up the oven, saying that since they were all up anyways they might as well eat. That pushed the thought of gifts straight out of his mind.

Most of the food had been made the day before, so within half an hour of reheating, they were sitting down to Christmas Dinner at 3:14 in the morning. Honey baked ham, fresh made rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce and six different types of pie. Plus, a green bean casserole that Jess insisted was traditional. Castiel's mouth started watering uncontrollably.

"Everything looks wonderful," he said to Sam, who had done most of the cooking. Sam nodded modestly.

"Hang on, don't eat yet, let me get another picture," Jess said, she attached her phone to a selfie stick and standing in front of the table held it high over their heads. "Say Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," the boys echoed.

 _"_ _Let Gabe and Anna come to Cas' house for Christmas Day," Dean said, clenching and unclenching his fists as he resisted the urge to smother the simpering man in front of him. "You know they miss him, you two don't even have to speak to each other. Just let the kids come."_

 _Mr. Novaks lip curled, "As I told Castiel, I will not have my children being influenced by his sinful lifestyle. You two can burn in hells fires, but you won't be taking my son and daughter with you."_

 _Dean slammed his fist down on the desk before he could stop himself, Mr. Novak jumped. Dean heaved a sigh, flattening out his hand against the wood._

 _"_ _Didn't," he managed to grit out, "didn't Jesus eat with sinners and call thieves his friends? The greatest commandment is love right? Those kids love their brother Mr. Novak, don't keep them apart."_

 _The older man sat down, leaning back in his chair, "I think you knew my answer when you came in here." He said, crossing his legs, one foot jiggling. "Why did you even bother?" Dean gripped the bottom of his shirt, he would not punch this man, he would not._

 _"_ _I was hoping you'd have a change of heart," he said, eyes narrowing, "I guess I was kidding myself."_

 _"_ _I guess you were," Cas' dad waved a hand dismissively towards the door, "I believe you know the way out." Dean started towards the door, back as straight as a pool cue. He wanted to rip that man's throat out, he wanted do an Irish jig on his face with a sledge hammer. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob._

 _"_ _One last thing," he said, turning, "When I first met Cas, he told me that his faith in God wasn't shaken by people like you because when Jesus met a woman accused of adultery he said, 'let he who has never sinned cast the first stone.' He was the only one there who could have thrown a rock but he didn't." Cas' dad just stared at him, mouth slightly open. Dean nodded, "You might want to think about that."_

Castiel had never eaten so much. He must have had four whole plates of mashed potatoes, plus ham and green beans and rolls and cranberry sauce and stuffing, so much stuffing.

He excused himself and waddled into the living room, he needed to lay down, his stomach felt like it was full of wet cement. With an "oomph," he collapsed onto the couch, pressing his face against the cushions.

"Ugh, I need a nap," Dean said, sitting down next to him. He poked Castiel in the back, "scooch over," he said.

"Find your own couch," Castiel mumbled, not moving. Dean laughed and flipped him over pinning Castiel beneath him. Castiel let out a groan as Deans weight put pressure on his abdomen.

"This is my couch," Dean reminded him.

"Agh, Dean," Castiel tried to shove him away, but he was too heavy. "Get off, I'm gonna puke."

"Here," Dean flipped them again, so Castiel was lying on his chest, "better?"

"Mmmmm," Castiel sighed against his command shirt, his eyelids felt like lead, maybe a little nap wouldn't be such a bad…

…..

….

…..

"Dean," Sam shook Deans shoulder, "Dean."

"Huh?" Dean opened his eyes. How long had he been asleep?

"Hey Jess in I were gonna watch a movie in here, so could you…"

"Oh," Dean scrubbed at his eyes, "yeah, sure." He tried to sit up, but Cas was still dead asleep.

"Cas," he whispered, Cas snuffled and clung to him tighter. Dean smiled, then rearranged them until he was holding the younger man.

"I'll just put him in my room," he said to Sam who viewed the whole affair with raised eyebrows.

"Mhmm, take your time." He laughed, Dean flipped him off as he walked away.

His bedroom was dark, the sun had still not risen. He set Cas down as gently as he could, but the jostle of his head hitting the pillows woke him up.

"Dean?" he croaked.

"Hey," Dean crouched over him, one hand cupping his face, "Sam and Jess claimed the living room, so…" He yawned, mouth opening comically wide, "Sorry." Cas rose up to kiss the corner of his jaw.

"It's okay." He pulled Dean down next to him, their legs tangling together, sleepy silence dragged at time, slowing it down. Dean trailed a hand up and down Cas's side, his t-shirt bunching at the top of his ribs. Cas made a noise somewhere in the back of his throat, a low moan of approval.

"Oh, before I forget," Deans hand stilled. Cas opened his eyes as felt him shift away, Dean was reaching under the bed, he straightened with a grunt, handing Cas a box. "Merry Christmas."

"What?..." Cas tore into the wrapping paper, a silver picture frame emerged. Cas stared at it, mouth slack, eyes growing huge. "What?..." he said again, but so softly that Dean could barely hear him.

"It isn't what I wanted to give you," Dean explained. "But Jess took that at your concert and I thought…" he trailed off, looking down at the frame. The picture was of Anna, Gabe and Cas holding hands as they walked across the lobby together. They were smiling, but not in the cheesy way people did for posed photos. Their smiles showed how happy they were to be together. Cas swallowed, eyes as glittery as a manga character's as he looked up at Dean.

"I tried to reason with your dad," Dean said, "I asked him to let the kids come see you today, but he wouldn't budge." He shrugged uncomfortably, "Sorry Cas," he nodded at the picture frame, "I know it's a lame substitute."

Cas didn't say anything, just launched himself at Dean frantically, desperately. His cheeks were wet as he buried his face in Dean's shoulder.

"Hey, okay," Dean patted his back awkwardly as Cas clung to him, then surrendered, pulling him closer, "Alright."

"Why would you do that for me?" Cas whispered against his throat. Dean shrugged again, embarrassed.

"You're my boy." He said simply. Cas pulled away slightly to stare at him and Dean blushed.

"Sorry, do you prefer man?" he asked, Cas didn't say anything so he kept babbling, "Boyfriend? Suitor? Significant Oth-." Cas cut him off with a kiss, pushing him backwards against the headboard. He swung his leg over him so he was sitting on his lap.

"I like being your boy," he growled, nipping at Dean's lip. Dean slid his hands up his back, dragging his nails back down. Cas moaned, he found the spot on Dean's neck that caused him to gasp and smiled.

They slid downwards, until Cas had Dean pinned underneath him. They locked eyes and something passed between them, an understanding. It was that moment that Dean knew well, but normally he was the one instigating it. The fall off the bridge into sweet oblivion. Dean felt his heart slamming against his ribs, he wasn't ready, he wasn't-… his shirt jumped in time to his heart's beat. Cas hands fumbled with his fly and a noise of protest ripped out of Dean's throat, Cas stopped, staring at him, lips swollen, cheeks flushed.

"What?" he asked, pushing his hair back with one hand, it fell again as soon as he let go. A dark wave over his forehead. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dean managed. Cas frowned at him.

"Don't you lie to me Dean Winchester," he rumbled, sounding far older than his nineteen years, "We've come too far for that." Dean struggled to sit up. Cas let him, sliding off so they were sitting side by side, Dean's legs dangling off the bed.

"I've never," Dean tried, the words died in his throat. He cleared it, crossed his arms, hunched over, stared at his feet. Maybe, if he just didn't look at Cas he'd be able to say this.

"I've never had sex with a guy," he finally got out. He still couldn't look at Cas, "I don't know what to-…What if I-… I'm-…" He heaved a shaky breath, "I'm-."

"Hey," Cas forced his head up, turned it to face him. He kissed him, gently. "It's alright." Dean dropped his eyes, ashamed. "We don't have to-."

"No, I want to," Dean tried to explain, "I just-…just." Cas seemed to understand, he kissed him again, harder this time, gently pushing him back down, he kissed his forehead, his cheeks, each corner of his mouth.

"Alright?" he asked. Dean nodded. Cas' hands slid up the inside of his shirt, pulling it up. Each inch of his tender flesh was kissed, Dean's breath hitched in his throat as Cas' hands once again fumbled with his fly.

"Alright?" the pianist asked, in answer Dean helped him as he slid his jeans from his legs, they joined Cas' in a pile on the floor. Their shirts followed and soon they were both bare, nothing left to hide behind. Cas cupped his face in both of his hands, Dean met his eyes, pushing back the panic.

"Alright," he said, bumping his nose against Cas'. The younger man's smile lit up the room, eased Dean's fears, calmed his pounding heart. Their mouths crashed together and down they fell straight into oblivion's waiting arms.


	13. Glee: I Wanna Hold Your Hand (cover)

_One Year, Three hundred and Fifty-two days later_

"Have you asked him yet?" Jo whispered, as they sliced pie in Ellen's kitchen.

"Have you asked him yet?" Gabe and Anna pressed their eager faces so close to the phone that Dean could count their freckles.

"Are you ever going to bloody ask him?" Balathzar glared at him over the rim of his beer.

"Have you asked him yet?" Jess wanted to know when she and Sam joined them for dinner.

"Balls. Haven't you asked the poor kid yet?" Bobby shouted over the whine of machinery as they worked on a new car.

"Not yet," Dean kept saying.

What they didn't understand, what nobody truly understood, was Dean's need to do this right. Cas was his angel, he couldn't just give him some half-assed proposal, nor could he give him a super cheesy one. It had to be perfect.

And Dean sucked at making things perfect.

He had the ring, he'd had it for about six months now, switching it from pocket to pocket every time he changed clothes so Cas wouldn't find it. He'd gone through about a dozen different ideas in his head, none of them seemed good enough. Probably none of them would ever be good enough, because no matter what lies Dean told himself the truth was…

He was such a fucking coward.

What if Cas said no? What if he realized, like Dean had a thousand times over, that he was young and completely wonderful and didn't need to be attached to some cranky, old, grease monkey like Dean?

These thoughts plagued him as he waited for the office doors to open. Over the years how much time, he wondered, had he spent staring at that water lily print over the receptionists desk? Never the same receptionist, but always the same print.

"Winchester!" Mr. Novak, glared at him from his darkened office. "Are we really going to go through this again?"

"You don't keep up on a tradition and they die out," Dean said, climbing to his feet. Cas' dad sighed and ushered him inside.

"Birthdays, Fourth of July, random camping trips, fishing," he mumbled, slamming the door shut. His glare increased in strength. "It's been two years of this crap Winchester, don't you ever get tired of my saying no?"

"As your son likes to remind me, it never hurts to ask," Dean took a seat without being invited and propped his feet up on the desk. Mr. Novak sighed gustily, sinking into his swivel chair.

"Fine, let's hear it." He said, resigned.

"We put up a huge tree in Cas' apartment," Dean took his feet off the desk and leaned forward eagerly, "and we're going to go see the Nutcracker again. I know the kids would love it, you don't have to come anywhere near the place if you don't want to. Cas will pick them up Christmas Eve and drop them off Christmas Morning." He stopped, Mr. Novak was already shaking his head.

"You knew the answer when you came in here Winchester," he stood up, "and I'm extremely busy today. I don't have time for your begging."

"Asking."

"Whatever, I still don't have time for it." Mr. Novak was clearly distracted, he kept glancing at the piles of paper next to his computer. Dean frowned with confusion, this was usually the part where Cas' Dad gave him a lecture about his immortal soul. "So if you will?" he made a half-hearted wave towards the door.

Dean stood up, and started for the waiting room, but stopped halfway there. "Hey," he said, "Not that I think you'd tell me if you weren't, but you okay man?"

Mr. Novak frowned, "Of course I'm okay," he said, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know you just seem…off." He shrugged again and resumed his departure, "Sorry I said anything, see you next time."

"Or you could just give up?!" Mr. Novak called as the door was swinging shut behind him, "you ever consider that option? I'm never changing my answer Winchester, never!" Dean smirked, and gave the secretary a wave, before stepping into the elevator.

"Never say never," he muttered to the empty car.

…

"Hey Baby," Cas picked up on the second ring, sounding out of breath. He and Sam were working on some top secret project together, he always came home filthy from whatever it was. Dean kind of liked that, if only because it gave him an excuse to insist they take a shower together.

"Hey," Dean smiled, negotiating traffic one-handed, "I'm downtown right now and was wondering if you wanted to meet at that new rib joint for dinner?"

"Oh," the background noise changed, Cas was probably sitting in his car, "I was going to make dinner actually. Ellen gave me this recipe for meatloaf-."

"She gave you the meatloaf recipe?!" Dean was suddenly much more awake. "I've been trying to get that out of her for years!" Cas started laughing.

"Yeah I asked her if she had any meals you might like and she gave me a box full of recipe cards. The meatloaf one was highlighted so I figured…"

"You really are an angel," Dean wished Cas were sitting next to him, so he could kiss him, "Have I told you I love you today?"

"I love you too. I have to stop by the grocery store, but I should be home in half an hour. Will you take Blade out?"

Dean nodded, "Can do. See you soon."

…

Castiel smiled sappily as he stepped back outside. Sam was sitting on the front porch, swigging from a bottle of water.

"What's got you so happy?" he asked, pushing his long hair back. In the two years Castiel had known Sam his hair had gone from a shaggy bowl cut to sweeping his shoulders, Dean teased him about it constantly.

"Your brother," Sam rolled his eyes. Castiel collapsed next to him and accepted the bottle of water that he offered. "So, what do you think, can we call it quits for the day?"

Sam glanced at the house behind them. He was renovating it and had enlisted Castiel's help with the decorating part. He'd also sworn him to secrecy. When the house was finished, he was going to ask Jess to marry him and had insisted that if Castiel told anyone, they would blab. Having been in the thick of it with the Winchesters and their circle for quite a while now Castiel had had to admit that was probably true.

"Yeah, we should be good for today." Sam said, "How close are we to being finished?"

"I'd say about 80 percent done, I just have to finish painting the bathroom and the kitchen." Castiel stood up, dusting himself off, mentally calculating his route to the nearest Trader Joes. "But, I've got practice all day tomorrow, so I'll have to start that on Wednesday."

"Great," Sam smiled at him, finishing the last of his water. "I'll meet you here after work." Castiel bid his goodbyes and soon enough was scanning the meat aisle, Ellen's recipe called for ground beef, but all he could find was ground turkey.

He wondered if Dean would notice.

Of course he would. Castiel sighed, then sought out the nearest employee and a ridiculous hour and a half later, finally exited the store with his bags.

His phone buzzed. A text from Dean. He read it as he pulled onto the street, even though he knew texting and driving killed.

"You're not dead are you?" the text read, "please don't be dead."

Castiel laughed and started to type in a reply.

"Not dead, problems at store. Tell you-." He looked up and screamed, slamming on the brakes as a man lurched off the sidewalk in front of his car. His phone fell to the floor, he jolted to a stop, threw the car into park, put on the hazards and raced out into the street.

The man was lying under his front wheels! Heart thudding against his ribs, Castiel kneeled down next to him. Praise the Lord! The tires weren't actually touching him, he had just passed out. Castiel caught a whiff of him, probably, not just because he'd almost been run over either. He smelled like a taproom.

"Sir?" Castiel pulled him out from under the cars belly. Around him other drivers honked angrily, but he ignored them, rolling the man over, his breath caught in his throat.

"Father?"

….

Blade was a mutt that Cas had adopted about four months ago, right after Bones had passed away. He'd helped the Winchester brothers bury their faithful pooch in the park and about two weeks later had begged Dean to go to the animal shelter with him. He said the apartment was too quiet without a dog in it, though Bones hadn't made much noise the last year, all he'd really done was sleep.

Anyways, Blade had been waiting for Cas at the very end of the row. He'd leaped up against the fence and watched him approach. When the shelter worker had let him out he'd crawled into Cas' lap and covered his face in kisses. His name had been Murry when Cas had adopted him, but since he was only 6 months old they'd decided it wouldn't be a big deal to change it and after much deliberation, Blade he had become.

The dog liked Dean just fine, he supposed, but his only true love was for Cas and when the pianist wasn't there, he would sit and stare at Dean, as if to say, "Hey, where is he?"

"I wish I knew buddy." Dean told the dog now. He tried calling again, no answer. He tried to stop all the horrible things that could be happening to Cas from rolling through his head.

It didn't work.

Where was he? Was he dead? Kidnapped? Who wouldn't want to kidnap him, he was fucking adorable! God, could he raise enough money to pay a ransom? Or would it be better to go all Liam Neeson in Taken on their asses?

Dean sat, staring at the front door, tapping his foot.

Another half an hour passed and Dean was _thisclose_ to calling the police, when his phone buzzed. He snatched it up.

"At hospital," Cas' text read, "Please come. Emergency ward."

"Fuck!" Dean scooped up Blade and was out the door in a heartbeat. In typical fashion they got stuck behind the slowest drivers in the world and may or may not have used the sidewalk as an alternate lane. The Impala screeched into the parking lot and Dean and Blade rushed into the emergency ward. The duty nurse screaming at them as they busted through the double doors.

"Sir! Sir! You can't go in there without a pass! Sir! You can't bring that dog in there! Sir!" But, Dean had already sprinted down the hall. He skidded around the corner and there stood Cas, looking right as rain.

"Cas!" Dean put on the brakes an inch from his person. Blade started whining. Cas was looking through the glass in front of them and seemed hardly to notice they'd just come barreling up. He turned to face them slowly, like he was in a daze.

"Dean," he said, then noticed his dog, who was wriggling frantically, trying to get to him. "Why'd you bring Blade?"

"I thought you were hurt!" Dean almost screamed. He set Blade down and he immediately put his paws on Cas' legs, begging to be picked up. Dean pulled Cas against him, crushing him in a hug. "I was going to use the dog to bring you out of a coma if I had to!"

Cas laughed, softly, stroking Dean's hair, "How would I have sent a text message in a coma Dean?"

"Jesus, Cas, I don't know." Dean pulled back a little so he could stare into his eyes. _He was alright, nothing was wrong, he was fine._ "I panicked okay."

Cas pulled away still looking dazed. "Sorry." His gaze went back to the glass, Dean looked through it too, just to see what was so goddamn fascinating.

"Wait." His brain was having trouble processing. "Is that?"

Cas nodded, "it's my Father." He said, "he's got alcohol poisoning. I almost ran him over outside of Trader Joes."

….

Castiel was finally let into his father's room at about midnight.

Dean had been asked to leave shortly after arriving, by an incredibly angry duty nurse and a couple of large orderlies. He was asked to not return until he could obey the hospitals rules. After a lot of arguing and some cursing, Dean walked away, telling Castiel he'd be back soon, but Castiel had told him to just wait at home. Dean hadn't liked that either, but he hadn't come back so Castiel guessed his wishes were being respected.

He sank into the lone chair by his father's bedside and settled in. The doctor had told him that his father was going through detox and wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. Castiel was determined to wait until he did, but either the stress or the lateness of the hour finally got to him and next thing he knew it was morning. Nurses were rushing around outside the glass and stretchers bearing grievously injured people were being wheeled into the OR.

"Castiel?" his fathers voice, drew his gaze to the bed. Castiel stood up so fast he got a head rush.

"Father?" Castiel grasped his fathers hand. It was cold and he was so pale, Castiel swiped at his eyes with the back of his wrist. "How are you feeling? Do you want me to call the nurse?"

"Oh Castiel," his fathers voice shook and he rested his other hand on Castiel's arm, "I'm so, so sorry."


	14. Author's Note Numero Dos

Authors Note: I promised you an ending and dammit I have given you an ending! Never let it be said that I am not a woman of my word. However, I would like to apologize for how long this took. I really have no excuse. So, if any of you have given up on me I completely understand, but if you've stuck with me, then I would just like to say from the bottom of my heart, Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May the odds be ever in your favor, the Force be with you and the wind be ever at your backs my little starlings. I love you all.

\- _to the sky_


	15. Anastasia: Once Upon a December

Dean and Blade were both still awake when Cas came home. Dean was lying in his bed watching Doctor Who, he was trying to catch up on all of the old seasons, no mean feat as they had gone on for something like thirty years. Suddenly Blade's ears perked up and he raced excitedly down the hall, barking.

"Hey buddy," Dean heard Cas say, "Who's a good boy? Are you my good boy? Yes, you are." He pushed open the bedroom door and the dog went straight to his pillow in the corner. Now that Cas was home, Dean knew he would be out like a light and sure enough the dog was asleep as soon as he put his head down.

"Hey," Dean croaked, raising himself up on one elbow. Cas crawled onto the bed, wrapping himself as tight around Dean as he could get, burying his face in Dean's shoulder.

"Hey," Dean said again, threading his fingers into Cas' hair. Cas sniffed, tears spreading a damp stain across the collar of Dean's t-shirt.

"Baby, what happened?" Dean asked. Cas just shook his head, clinging to him tighter, trembling. Dean sighed, running a hand up and down his back.

"Okay," he murmured, "it's gonna be okay."

The silence that fell was a melody into itself, dancing on the watery blue light flooding the room. Dean pulled a blanket over them, his eyes burned, Cas' hair tickled the end of his nose. He pressed a kiss against his boy's forehead.

"He got replaced." Cas whispered.

"What?"

"He got replaced and he apologized to me." Cas pushed himself up on his elbows. Tears still trickling down his cheeks. "Dean, he apologized to me."

 _"I'm so sorry Castiel, for everything." His fathers grip on his hand had tightened into something almost painful, but Castiel didn't want to break free._

 _"I forgive you Father, of course I forgive you, but why?..."_

 _Why now? Why after everything?_

 _His father's face fell and he seemed to shrink back against the dull hospital blankets. His chin trembled._

 _"I've been asked to leave my current position," he managed, "I'm being replaced, by someone they feel the public will relate more to." He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, voice thick as he tried to control himself. "Patrick pulled me into a meeting where they gave me the news and all I could think as they were talking at me, was, what has been the point of all this? I'm never home, I haven't slept in the same bed as my wife in months. I don't know my children. Gabriel is almost a man and I know nothing about him. Anna is so afraid of me she won't look me in the eye and Castiel-."_

 _The death grip he had on Castiel's hand tightened even more._

 _"I love you Castiel, I want you to know that. I don't understand all this, gay, stuff of yours, but I love you."_

 _Castiel couldn't hold back his own tears anymore, they dribbled down his cheeks to drip off his chin. Eye's still screwed shut, his father went on._

 _"I walked out of the building and was wandering aimlessly down the road before I realized, I had no idea where I was going. I had no idea what to do. I had no one to talk to about this, I had no friends."_

 _He took a shuddering breath, "So I went into the first gas station I came upon and bought a fifth of vodka." He laughed humorlessly, a dry little chuckle, "I don't really remember what happened after that, but I can guess." His eyes finally opened and he reached out to cup the side of his sons face._

 _"I can't promise I'll be perfect," he said, "but please won't you let me try to be your father again Castiel?"_

….

 _Christmas Eve_

"This is the best Christmas EVER!" Anna screamed, throwing a handful of Christmas mints into the air.

"Anna," her mother scolded, "inside voice."

Anna scuffed her foot abashed, "Sorry Mother." Castiel stifled a laugh into his sleeve.

They were crammed into his living room, The entire Novak family as well as the Winchesters and the Singers. Bobby and Mr. Novak were animatedly discussing cars in the corner while Dean and Jo sat on the floor with Gabe playing some sort of video game that involved a lot of shooting. Gabe was winning.

Castiel wanted to close his eyes and soak it all in.

The night hadn't been without it's awkward moments, like when Dean had answered the door and come face to face with Mr. Novak, for a second Castiel had been afraid his boyfriend was going to slug his father, but it was a start. Hopefully, a really good start. Castiel glanced up at the star on the Christmas tree.

"Please," he prayed, "Please let this be a really good start."

…

"Cas," Dean was shaking his shoulder, "Baby wake up."

"Hmmm?" Castiel sat up, blinking confusedly, he was in the living room, it was dark, the only light came from the Christmas tree glowing softly in the corner.

"You fell asleep after desert." Dean said, "everyone left."

"Oh," Castiel laughed his way through a yawn, "Whoops. Do you think everyone had a good night?"

"I think they did," Dean smiled, kissing his jaw. Outside the snow had started falling again, in that quiet way it had. Dean pulled Castiel to his feet, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Merry Christmas Cas." They swayed together, taking a few slow steps. Castiel laughed.

"I didn't know you could dance."

"Only with you," he could feel Dean's smile against the side of his neck. They turned softly, basking in the Christmas trees glow. "I love you Cas."

"I love you too."

Dean unexpectedly stiffened, the dance ground to a halt.

"So," Dean's eyes were bright, eager, "I've got something to ask you," Castiel's heart flew into his throat.

"Okay," he managed.

Dean fumbled in his pocket, Castiel could barely breathe. The mechanic dropped to one knee, holding aloft a solid silver band.

"Castiel Novak, will you-."

"Yes!" Castiel shouted, bowling Dean over in the hug he bestowed on him. Blade woke up and started barking, prancing around them in a concerned circle. Castiel wouldn't let go of Dean's neck, kissing any part of his face he could reach.

"Yes, yes, yes!" he said. Dean laughed, flipping them so Cas was pinned beneath him and then gave him a proper kiss, one that said all the things he wasn't able to put into words.

"I love you Cas."

Castiel took the ring from him and slid it onto his finger, beaming through his tears. He kissed Dean, saying with it all the things he wasn't able to put into words.

"I love you too."

….

 _July 7th of that same year…_

"I cannot believe your Dad is actually here." Dean whispered in his husband's ear as they glided around the dance floor. "He's here and he's mostly sober!"

"It's his wedding day present to us," Cas whispered back, "He said if we ever have a vow renewal he's not coming." Dean laughed. The DJ invited anyone else who wanted to out onto the floor and soon they were surrounded by smiling twirling couples. Gabe and Anna whirled past, spinning like tops, smacking into peoples legs and almost causing several collisions. Anna saw Dean watching and threw a handful of her flower girl petals in their direction.

Dean smiled, hopefully their future kids turned out halfway as decent as those two.

…

 _Fifteen months later…_

"Can I hold her?" Anna squealed with delight as Dean handed off his daughter. The baby looked up at her aunt with wide, solemn eyes and grabbed the end of her ponytail.

"Hello Charlie," Anna grinned, "I'm your Aunt Anna, we're gonna be best friends." From over at the kitchen table Gabe snorted.

"You can't be best friends with a baby dummy." Anna rolled her eyes at him.

"I can if I want to," she insisted. Gabe stomped over to look at his niece critically.

"I don't see what's so great about her." He said, "she's just a little mooshball." He poked her fat cheek, quick as a whip Charlie turned and bit him, hard. Gabe let out a startled cry and jumped back.

"Oh sorry Gabe," Castiel laughed, "we should have warned you, she does that."

Gabe looked down at his finger in disbelief and a slow smile spread across his face.

"Okay, he admitted grudgingly, "she might be alright after all."

….

 _December 14th, thirty years later…_

"Grandpa Dean!" a tiny orange haired creature latched itself to Deans leg the second he opened the door.

"Hey Baby Girl," Dean hoisted his granddaughter into the air, "You been getting into trouble?"

"Always Dad," Charlie laughed, coming up the steps. She kissed his cheek, smiling. "Thanks for watching her."

"Where's Grandpa Cas?" Charlie Jr. asked from Dean's arms. Dean set her down in the direction of the backyard.

"He's out back with Great-Grandpa and Uncle Gabe. Their building a snowman." Charlie Jr.'s eyes grew huge.

"Can I help?" she asked, Dean nodded and with a wave to her mother the little girl went skipping away.

"You alright sweetheart?" Dean asked his daughter as she sagged against the doorway, "you look tired."

"I am tired Dad," Charlie laughed, rubbing her eyes, "work has been crazy." Dean frowned and she laughed.

"I'll be fine, I'm just going to finish up this project and then things should calm right down." She gave him another hug and turned to walk away, then stopped, peering back over her shoulder. "Oh, right, Bonnie wanted me to ask if you wanted her to bring desert on Sunday."

"Yes, that Oreo thing she brought last week!" Charlie laughed again.

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

Dean made his way to the backyard, only to be pelted by several snowballs.

"Hey!" he sputtered in indignation.

"Got you Grandpa!" Charlie laughed, "we got you!"

"You're going to give Grandpa Dean pneumonia," Dean grumped.

"Don't be a baby Dean," Gabe laughed, forming another snowball and handing it to his father who smiled at him dotingly.

"Fine you want war?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows, "I can give you war!"

The afternoon devolved into one long snowball battle, Gabe's team won, even though Dean maintained he'd cheated, but Gabe only laughed, because where was Dean's proof of that? Anna showed up eventually for dinner and had to be called in as impartial judge.

She of course sided with Gabe.

Later after dinner, when Anna and Gabe had gone home and Great-Grandpa Novak had toddled off to bed. Cas, Dean and Charlie gathered around Cas' old piano.

"Play your song!" Charlie begged, "Please Grandpa Cas!"

"Which one?" Cas asked, blue eyes flashing behind his glasses.

"The one you wrote for Grandpa Dean!"

"Alright, but only if you'll sing the words." Cas stroked Gloria's keys with a smile and began to play. Charlie nodded along to the opening chords, outside the snow flurried against the window. Dean rested a hand on Cas' shoulder as in a thin piping voice the girl began to sing.

"On the wind, 'cross the sea, hear this song and remember. Soon you'll be, home with me, Once Upon a December…"


End file.
